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Today is George R. R. Martin's Birthday

Written by ThanosCopter on Friday, September 20 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

Today is George R. R. Martin's Birthday

The author plans to celebrate with a large feast and the shocking murder of his rivals.

Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Today is George R. R. Martin's 65th birthday.  The writer, best known for his A Song of Ice and Fire series and its television adaptation Game of Thrones, plans to celebrate his birthday with a lavish feast held at his castle estate in New Mexico.

"It will be a wonderful feast," Martin said, while sitting in his throne room.  "We've brought in chefs to prepare roast turkey with perfectly golden skin, three entire roast pigs, freshly boiled lobster with blood red shells, perfectly grilled asparagus, finely whipped mashed potatoes, pies of apple, pear, pumpkin and peach all cooled by a late summer's breeze, a casket of ale, aged pear brandy, bread from the finest bakeries, a hearty stew with potatos, corn, beans and bits of cow flank, and salad for the vegetarians."  

Included on the guest list for the party were popular fantasy writers and rivals Brandon Sanderson, Michael Sullivan, Terry Goodkind, Joe Abercrombie and Neil Gaiman, as well as a number of other people whom have slighted Martin over the years.  

"I'm really excited for the feast," said Julie Russo, a hairdresser whom once cut Martin's hair too short.  "I hear Mr. Martin throws killer parties."  

"Indeed, that I do," said Martin as servants brought in a number of crossbows and torture devices.  He turned to one servant pushing in a large torture rack.  "Make sure that thing's large enough for Gaiman.  And make sure my special knife is clean.  You know the one with the curve, that I use for..." 

Remembering he was still being interviewed, Martin cut himself off.  "Please understand, New Mexico doesn't have any real laws against killing guests in your own home.  You have to take advantage of these things." 

"You'll have to excuse me," he said, finishing the interview early.  "I have a lot of preparations to make.  You'd be surprised how hard it is to teach a bunch of mercenaries how to play instruments." 

We wish Mr. Martin the best and hope for many more birthdays in years to come.

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