Written by Jude Terror
on Monday, September 23 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Due to 'abuse of the system,' Disney has put the kibosh on a program allowing disabled people to skip ahead in lines at theme parks.
Before today, the one bright side of being a quadriplegic (besides reduced shoe and glove expenses) was the fact that you didn't have to wait three hours in a line to be serenaded by multicultural animatronic children on Disney's It's a Small World theme park ride. That has come to an end now that Disney has discontinued their program of letting disabled people cut in line at their theme parks, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Instead, they will now have to use a program similar to the Fast Pass system that allows them to reserve a spot in line, wait out the time they would have spent on line being harassed by creepy costumed Goofies, and come back when it's their turn to go on the ride.
Apparently, the reason for the switch is that rich people were hiring disabled people to go to the park with them so they didn't have to wait in line. Thanks, 1%ers. Not only are you ruining the economy, you're now taking your lack of accountability for it all to unprecedented levels and letting disabled people take the fall for your abuses of money and power at Disneyland.
The happiest place on earth, for fuck's sake!
Um... yeah, we started out this article planning to be funny, but now we're just angry. Sorry about that.
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.
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