The frenzy of speculation over lost episodes of the popular British sci-fi television show Doctor Who came to a rather anti-climactic end today when the BBC announced that, despite being sure they had looked there several times, the missing episodes were actually in the front left pocket of their pants the entire time. According to a BBC representative, the BBC did not expect the episodes to be in that pocket because it usually keeps its car keys there, while it's cell phone and lost episodes of Doctor Who normally go in the right front pocket. Regardless, the socialist broadcast network is certain that it did check the left pocket, just in case, several times and that there were no episodes there. However, upon reaching in there today to retrieve a stick of chewing gum, the network felt the lost episodes, which it must begrudgingly admit must have been in there the whole time.
"It isn't like someone is sneaking into our closet and putting lost episodes in the pockets of our Wranglers," said head of the BBC, Queen Elizabeth. "I mean, fancy that, will you? No, they were probably always in there and we somehow overlooked them."
The news comes as somewhat of a blow to the internet media, which was planning on running two or three stories per day about the missing episodes until the BBC made an official announcement. Some journalists had even come up with elaborate plans to get the scoop on the situation.
"Oi wuz plannin' ta' take the queen mum out on a date, oi wuz," explained Bleeding Cool chief Rich Johnston. "Oi reckon oi'd use me romantic charms to find out about the episodes. Oi'm right dashing when oi set my mind to it, oi am. Pip pip!"
Bleeding Cool's Rich Johnston displaying his romantic prowess on a date.
The BBC has promised to make the episodes available for viewing as soon as they restore them to decent condition, noting that it's possible that the episodes went through the wash at least a couple of times since they originally went missing in the 1960s.