Deadline reported today that French-Algerian actress Sofia Boutella will play the lead female role in British director Matthew Vaughn's movie adaptation of Scottish comic book writer Mark Millar's comic, Secret Service. Boutella has worked on French TV shows and movies, as a dancer for Madonna, and as model. As that's about the extent of the relevant information here, we're going to make up some quotes from the people involved in a poorly written exaggerations of the dialects of their home countries. Cool? Let's do it.
"Ven I heard ze news, I vas very excited to learn zat I would be staring in ze movie," Boutella told us while sipping wine and eating stinky cheese in a cafe. "It is ze breakthrough role zat I have been vaiting for, and I am very happy that zey chose moi for it."
"Wee wee," she added. "Poo poo. Haw haw!"
"Oi thought it wuz a bit of a no brainer, wuzn't it?" commented Vaughn. "Oi mean, the birds a roight pisser of a fine actress, in't she? Welly welly welly welly welly welly welly well. Oi reckon she'll do a great job, and if you disagree, great bolsy yarblockos to you, sir! Cheerio, bob's your uncle, and oll that!"
"Ah dinnae pure care wha thay cast," said Millar while castrating a sheep. "Whin ah wrote this comic, ah knew it wid mak' a stoatin movie, sin that's th' ainlie reason ah write thae glaikit hings. As lang as th' dosh keeps comin' in, ah will keep cranking this crap oot, ken whit ah mean? Hahaha! Och, ah mean, thay made a braw choice."
As a bonus, we asked costar Samuel L. Jackson what he thought about all of this, and he responded, "I'm tired of these motherfuckin' frogs, limeys, and sheepfuckers in my motherfuckin' movie!"
Stay tuned to the Outhouse for more classy, well thought out articles like this one.
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. Ironically, our webmaster, whose website skills know no end, has very little understanding of social networks or how they work. Regardless, you can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, but would probably have the most luck just emailing him.
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