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French Actress to Star in British Director's Adaptation of Scotsman's Comic Book

Written by Jude Terror on Tuesday, October 29 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

French Actress to Star in British Director's Adaptation of Scotsman's Comic Book

The Outhouse struggles for minutes to come up with more than a paragraph about the news, which is probably longer than Millar spent writing the script for the glorified movie pitch of a comic.

Source: Deadline

Deadline reported today that French-Algerian actress Sofia Boutella will play the lead female role in British director Matthew Vaughn's movie adaptation of Scottish comic book writer Mark Millar's comic, Secret Service. Boutella has worked on French TV shows and movies, as a dancer for Madonna, and as model. As that's about the extent of the relevant information here, we're going to make up some quotes from the people involved in a poorly written exaggerations of the dialects of their home countries. Cool? Let's do it.

"Ven I heard ze news, I vas very excited to learn zat I would be staring in ze movie," Boutella told us while sipping wine and eating stinky cheese in a cafe. "It is ze breakthrough role zat I have been vaiting for, and I am very happy that zey chose moi for it."

"Wee wee," she added. "Poo poo. Haw haw!"

"Oi thought it wuz a bit of a no brainer, wuzn't it?" commented Vaughn. "Oi mean, the birds a roight pisser of a fine actress, in't she? Welly welly welly welly welly welly welly well. Oi reckon she'll do a great job, and if you disagree, great bolsy yarblockos to you, sir! Cheerio, bob's your uncle, and oll that!"

"Ah dinnae pure care wha thay cast," said Millar while castrating a sheep. "Whin ah wrote this comic, ah knew it wid mak' a stoatin movie, sin that's th' ainlie reason ah write thae glaikit hings. As lang as th' dosh keeps comin' in, ah will keep cranking this crap oot, ken whit ah mean? Hahaha! Och, ah mean, thay made a braw choice."

As a bonus, we asked costar Samuel L. Jackson what he thought about all of this, and he responded, "I'm tired of these motherfuckin' frogs, limeys, and sheepfuckers in my motherfuckin' movie!"

Stay tuned to the Outhouse for more classy, well thought out articles like this one.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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