To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the X-Men, Marvel Comics has compiled a list of the top 50 X-Men of all time on its website. Presumably, the list was compiled on top of weeks of research, debates, and fan polling, and not just hastily thrown together based on which X-Men are currently involved in plans for upcoming storylines, and the fact that Wolverine and Cyclops and tied at #5 is merely a coincidence, with breakout star of the epilogue to Battle of the Atom Kitty Pryde and returning X-Man (in Amazing X-Men) Nightcrawler in the top two spots. In any case, at least one fan has taken to social media to point out that there might be a flaw in Marvel's methods with a series of calm and reasoned responses to the list.
"Celia Reyes is no higher than #39 on any top 50 X-Men list, unless you're a goddamn fucking idiot," complained X-Men superfan John Payne in a trending thread on his Facebook page that has almost sixteen likes. "Were Marvel smoking fucking crack when they ranked her at #35?! Did they smoke a big fat rock of crack?! This is fucking incomprehensible!"
"If you think that Chamber ranks on a top 50 X-Men list at all, you should be fucking shot dead and buried in an unmarked grave," Payne commented on his own post. "You should just be killed. You don't fucking deserve to live. On a list of the top 100 mutants, maybe, MAYBE, but as an X-Men? I mean, come the fuck on!"
The more Payne looked over the list, the more irreconcilable faults he found, causing him to record a follow-up YouTube response to the list.
"Marrow at #45?! Behind Pixie?!" he shouted, pounding his fists on his keyboard. "Any fucking idiot knows that it should be the other way around, Marrow at #44 and Pixie at #45. Did anyone even do any fucking research for this?! Have some common sense! Jesus fucking Christ!"
"And I'm getting real fucking sick of hearing about Thunderbird," Payne continued, spittle flying wildly from his mouth as he ranted about the character. "He appeared in like one issue, and he died. Oh boo fucking hoo. Enough already! No one gives a shit. #37 my fucking ass!"
"Look, I don't want to nit pick," he added, calling viewers to action, "but in what fucking world is Cannonball ranked five spots below Jubilee? Are you fucking for real, Marvel?!"
He leaned in closer to the camera, eyes bulging. "Are you FUCKING for REAL?!"
To conclude the video, Payne repeatedly punched himself in the forehead until he had a large lump and blood was trickling down his face.
"EEggghhhhhh," he concluded, drooling slightly.
Here's a press release Marvel sent us about this:
Celebrate 50 Years Of X-Men With Marvel.com’s 50 GREATEST X-MEN OF ALL-TIME!
In 1963, Uncanny X-Men #1 gave the world their first look into the new world of Marvel’s Merry Mutants. Now 50 years later, after countless sagas, numerous incarnations, and even multiple realities – the X-Men stand as a pop culture phenomenon. In honor of the 50th Anniversary, Marvel.com has brought in a panel of experts, including fans and professionals alike – to painstakingly select the 50 Greatest X-Men of All-Time! Did your favorite make the cut? Check out the whole list to see where!
After the list, be sure to check out a very special episode of the ‘This Week in Marvel’ podcast featuring X-Men Editors Nick Lowe, Jeanine Schaefer, Tom Brennan, Daniel Ketchum, Jordan D. White, and Xander Jarowney! The X-Editors join host Ben Morse for a lively roundtable discussion of the history of Marvel’s Merry Mutants as well as their favorite characters, storylines, romances, and much more!
And don’t miss X-Men: Gold #1 in print and digital this November, jam packed with stories by all-star creators from the storied history of Marvels Mutants! X-Men: Gold #1 features all-new stories by legendary creators from throughout the X-Men’s rich 50 year history – including Chris Claremont, Stan Lee, Walt Simonson, Len Wein and many, many more!
X-MEN: GOLD #1 (SEP130754)
Written by CHRIS CLAREMONT, STAN LEE, LOUISE SIMONSON, LEN WIEN, FABIAN NICEZA, & ROY THOMAS
Art by WALTER SIMONSON, BOB MCLEOD, JORGE MOLINA, SALVADOR LARROCA, & PAT OLLIFFE
Cover by OLIVIER COIPEL
Variant Cover by JOHN CASSADAY