Do you feel too safe when you go out in public? Are you concerned that not enough people view as a target for bullying? Do you want to ensure that not only will no member of the opposite sex consider you as a potential sexual partner, but also that, in the rare chance someone did, they wouldn't be able to execute anyway due to a thick layer of puffy, weatherproofed material that's colorfully emblazoned with a print of The Avengers? Then the new Marvel Comics Avengers Assemble Youth Snowboarding Suit is exactly what you've been looking for!
That's right, this totally real product that Marvel sent us a press release before comes in sizes XS to XL and one color (moldy blue), and is available now at the not at all unreasonable price of $199 for the jacket and $175 for the pants. It's even got a removal face mask, and something called a waist gaiter. Kids, you don't want to be the last one at school to own one of these bad boys. Start bugging your parents now so they can take out a second mortgage in time for Xmas!
Here's the press release for this, which we swear to God we didn't make up:
New Burton x Marvel Youth Outerwear Collaboration Now Available
BURLINGTON, VT (November 4, 2013) Burton Snowboards is excited to announce the launch of a new high-tech, youth outerwear jacket and pant collaboration with Marvel Entertainment. Now available in select stores and online worldwide, the limited edition boys Marvel Jacket and Pant features an exclusive one-of-a-kind print of Marvel’s Avengers Assemble featuring bold, iconic illustrations of Captain America, Hulk, Thor, Iron Man, Black Widow and Hawkeye.
The perfect choice for Avengers fans, Burton’s new Marvel Jacket and Pant doesn't just look superhuman – it plays the part with performance that’s upgraded in every respect. Loaded with more tech than Iron Man’s armor, the new Marvel Jacket boasts many of Burton’s high-end outerwear technologies, including DRYRIDE weatherproofing and strategically placed Thermacore™ insulation for super-powered warmth and waterproofing. Aspiring Avengers will also love the jacket’s hidden facemask, removable waist gaiter and extra waterproof welded seams.
The Marvel Snowboard Pant completes the Super Hero look and is made from the same Marvel’s Avenger Assemble print as the Jacket. Featuring storm-deflecting DRYRIDE weatherproofing and a mapped lining for targeted warmth and breathability, the NEW boys’ Burton Marvel Pant will keep kids charged on the most demanding missions. Kitted out with adult-grade features like welded seams for all-day-strong waterproofing and leg vents for regulating heat in a hurry, the Marvel snowboard pant will make any day on the hill extraordinary.
In addition to all this, both the Marvel Jacket and Pant feature Burton’s Room-To-Grow™ system. So, when those kid growth spurts occur, simply pull a thread to increase the length in the arms and legs by two inches and get back out there.
To get your super hero ready for winter with the new Burton x Marvel Boys Youth Jacket and Pant, head to www.burton.com/default/collabs-marvelor select Burton authorized retailers and flagship stores near you.
About Marvel Entertainment
Marvel Entertainment, LLC, a wholly-owned subsidiary of The Walt Disney Company, is one of the world's most prominent character-based entertainment companies, built on a proven library of more than 8,000 characters featured in a variety of media over seventy years. Marvel utilizes its character franchises in entertainment, licensing and publishing. For more information visit marvel.com.
In 1977, Jake Burton Carpenter founded Burton Snowboards out of his Vermont barn and has dedicated his life to snowboarding ever since. Burton has played a pivotal role in growing snowboarding from a backyard hobby to a world-class sport by creating ground-breaking products, supporting a team of top snowboarders and pushing resorts to allow snowboarding. Today, Burton designs and manufactures industry-leading products for snowboarding and the snowboard lifestyle, including snowboards, boots, bindings, outerwear and layering as well as year-round apparel, packs/bags and accessories. Privately held and owned by Jake and his wife, Burton President Donna Carpenter, Burton’s headquarters are in Burlington, Vermont with offices in Austria, Japan, Australia, California, Canada and China. For more information on Burton, head to www.burton.comand follow our line at facebook.com/burtonsnowboards and twitter.com/burtonsnowboard.