Wednesday, June 20, 2018 • Evening Edition • "Assholes welcome."

Thor Beats Off Orson Scott Card

Written by GHERU on Sunday, November 10 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

Thor Beats Off Orson Scott Card

...with a little help from Loki.

Source: UPDATE: Domestic Box Office Top 10: ‘Thor 2′ Eyeing M To .7M Weekend

According to, Thor: The Dark World will end the weekend outperforming many estimates and should earn somewhere in the $85-87 million range, easily taking the number one spot away from Ender’s Game. Thor and his evil half-brother, Loki, tag-teamed the box office to easily spunk out a win all over Card’s face. Not content with keeping it in the family, there is still a three way for this weekend’s sloppy seconds between Bad Grandpa, Last Vegas, and Free Birds.

Upon hearing about his position in the box office sandwich, Orson Scott Card was overheard to say that: “…when popularity is the enemy of my work, then the people who are paying me for my bigotry have no choice but to change governments, by whatever means is made possible or necessary.”

That seems a bit excessive. This reporter can think of quite a few people who wouldn’t have minded ending the weekend in Card’s position.


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About the Author - GHERU

RU, or as he’s known in the writers’ room: the cute one, is relatively unappreciated in his time.  RU’s YouTube show, RUviews is watched by literally multiple people every month and his Outhouse articles have helped line many a bird cage.  Before you send RU a message, he knows that there are misspelled words in this article, and probably in this bio he was asked to write.  RU wants everyone to know that after 25+ years of collecting he still loves comic books and can’t believe how seriously fanboys take them.  RU lives in Akron Ohio (unfortunately) with WIFE, ‘lilRuRu, and the @DogGodThor.  You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, & even Google+ (if anyone still uses that).


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