Cheerful song broke out in the fictional country of Munchkinland upon hearing the news that Jason Aaron would be leaving Wolverine and the X-Men in April. "Ding dong, the witch is dead! The witch is dead! The witch is dead!" sang many of the country's residents in spontaneous celebration. The Oz region had long been terrorized by Jason Aaron's writing, which had been likened to being attacked by a flock of flying monkeys.
The news was first announced by the Good Witch Glinda, who is presumably an outspoken blogger about the treatment of females in comic books. Come out, come out, wherever you are," said the witch, "and meet the young writer who fell from a star. He fell from the sky. He fell very far. Brian Bendis, he says, is the name of the star."
"Brian Bendis, she says, is the name of the star," affirmed the Munchkins, referring to All-New X-Men writer "The Great One" Brian Bendis, whose redemption of Scott Summers in All-New and Uncanny X-Men undid the elaborate damage done to the character in service of Jason Aaron's sick love for Wolverine, and ultimately drove Aaron off the book. Aaron and Bendis' dueling epilogues to X-Men: Battle of the Atom served as a cap to the long-running argument, one which Aaron has clearly lost.
"As Coroner, I thoroughly examined [the book]," said Munchkinland's resident coroner, Rich Johnston. "And Aaron's reign on the book is not only merely dead, it's really most sincerely dead."
"Hooray!" said the assembled crowd.
The fanbase began to celebrate and parade Bendis throughout the city, introducing themselves as they went. "We represent the Lollipop Guild," said one group, referring to Wolverine and the X-Men's large prepubescent Tumblr following.
"We represent the Lullaby League," said another group, the tired fans who suffered through years of Jason Aaron's tireless portrayal of Wolverine as a Mary Sue character who is the center of everything in the Marvel Universe.
Bendis then departed Munchkinland in the company of Rick Remender, a straw man who lacked a brain, Joe Quesada, a tin man without a heart, and John Romita Jr., a lion who had no courage to evolve his drawing style.
Munchkinland had long complained about Aaron's treatment of characters like Kitty Pryde, which had been described as "like a nightmare."
"But it wasn't a dream," explained one reader. "It was a real book. And you and you and you...and you were there, reading it too. But you couldn't have been could you? No, this was a real truly terrible book and I remember some of it wasn't very nice, but most of it was beautiful from the art side -- but just the same all I kept saying to everybody was 'I want to see a creative team change,' and they changed the creative team! Doesn't anybody believe me? But anyway, he's gone! Gone. And this is my room, and you're all here and I'm not going to read a Jason Aaron Wolverine book ever, ever again. Because I love you all. And... Oh ThanosCopter! There's no place like home!"
The Outhouse is sponsored this week by Late Nite Draw. Recently featured on ComicsAlliances' Best Art Ever, he is a Chicago-based commissioned artist with a self-published Digital+Print one-shot coming out in October about the abominable snowman called ABOBAMANIMABBLE, and is also available for commissions. Check out some amazing art by clicking here or by clicking the banner at the top, and support the people who support The Outhouse.
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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