Written by Jude Terror
on Monday, November 18 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
In a devastating 37-27 loss, the Detroit Lions fell victim to an Amazon Attack.
In a surprise twist for NFL fans on Sunday, the Detroit Lions, rather than competing aganst the Pittsburg Steelers as scheduled, faced off against what appeared to be a team of large, mutant bumblebees... and lost. The defeat came after the Lions entered halftime with a seven point lead, but a fourth quarter rally by the overgrown bees proved to be too much for the NFC North leaders to handle. The rally followed a fake field goal attempt by the Lions in which the bees, believed to be a particularly aggressive strain similar to the well-known Africanized honey bee, or "Killer Bee," except considerably larger and more humanoid, forced a fumble.
"Aaagggghhhhh!" said Lions running back Reggie Bush at one point during the game while being attacked by the giant, menacing bees. "Holy shit! Aaaggghhhhh!"
Bush ended the night with 12 rushing attempts for 31 yards, 2 receptions for 23 yards, 0 touchdowns, 1 fumble, and 27 extremely painful stings.
"Thank god I'm not allergic," Bush told The Outhouse as he rubbed aloe on himself.
"BBZZZZZZZZ!" replied one of the enormous, horrifying bee creatures as it chased a terrified Bush from the locker room.
Batman was reportedly in attendence, and offered the following comment to The Outhouse:
At press time, NFL officials were unable to find anything in the rule books disqualifying mutant bees from playing in the league, but were considering imposing unsportsmanlike conduct penalties on some of the bees for taunting Lions players after big plays.
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.
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