Wednesday, June 20, 2018 • Morning Edition • "Now part of a nutrituous breakfast!"

Credit Where Credit Is Due - Open Letter From Weather Wizard

Written by GHERU on Thursday, November 21 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

Credit Where Credit Is Due - Open Letter From Weather Wizard

In an open letter to intolerant organizations, The Weather Wizard explains why it hurts his credibility every time “credit” for his work is given to the homosexuals.

Source: Illinois Tornadoes Blamed On State's Gay Marriage Law By Right-Wing Religious Group

This morning, nutjob religious organizations, hate groups, and comic book websites (but I repeat myself) the world over received an open letter from Flash Rouge The Weather Wizard, wherein the super villain spells out just how much it pisses him off that people are always blaming others for what is, obviously, his work. The email is presented below verbatim:

Dear World,

Stop it. Just stop it. I am the one who broke the levies. I am the one who flooded the Philippines. I am the one who sent those tornadoes to Illinois. In other words: I am the one who knocks….your buildings down.

Do you think this is easy? Do you? Do you think it is simple to raise the temperature of the ocean fast enough to cause a tsunami? Do you have any idea how long it took me to figure out a way to destroy the levies in New Orleans?  El Nino – that was me! If not for The Weather Wizard, Al Roker would jsut be some (formally) fat guy laughing at stupid jokes on network TV. But, who do you all give the credit to / blame: the gays!

Now, I have nothing against gays per se, I hate them as much as I hate the rest of humanity. Why do I hate humanity you may ask?  Well, for one you are always blaming innocent people for the hard work of me and my fellow Rouges!

Have you ever seen the pictures of an area after I got done with it? It's messy and ugly – not exactly Queer Eye For The Stright Guy, is it? But, somehow, you come to the conclusion that God would punish an entire state (and 6 others) just because they decided to allow gays to marry each other. I’m a super villain and even I am not as petty as your God appears to be. I mean really, if this were true, dude would be the biggest douchebag in history…well, after that fuck-face Darkseid – who thinks he is God.

You know what the worst part of this whole thing is? The crap I get from The Pied Piper! Every time I drown a small island nation he is the one the media calls for interviews. He is the one sitting down with FOX News correspondents talking about my work just because he is gay and they want the ratings. How is that fair?

I am The Weather Wizard and it is my wrath and my rod (no homo) you should worry about, and if you continue to blame homosexuals, Jews, blacks, gypsies, or whoever for what I do there will be a reckoning!

The Weather Wizard

Well, there you have it.  Stong words from The Weather Wizard.  We can only hope that the world takes notcie before even more damage is done.


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - GHERU

RU, or as he’s known in the writers’ room: the cute one, is relatively unappreciated in his time.  RU’s YouTube show, RUviews is watched by literally multiple people every month and his Outhouse articles have helped line many a bird cage.  Before you send RU a message, he knows that there are misspelled words in this article, and probably in this bio he was asked to write.  RU wants everyone to know that after 25+ years of collecting he still loves comic books and can’t believe how seriously fanboys take them.  RU lives in Akron Ohio (unfortunately) with WIFE, ‘lilRuRu, and the @DogGodThor.  You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, & even Google+ (if anyone still uses that).


More articles from GHERU
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!