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Agents of SHIELD Fails to Beat 50 Year Old Television Program in Ratings

Written by ThanosCopter on Wednesday, November 27 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

Agents of SHIELD Fails to Beat 50 Year Old Television Program in Ratings

Audiences preferred dated stop motion animation and voice acting to the ABC drama.

Source: TV By the Numbers

Despite posting a second consecutive week of positive ratings, ABC's Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. failed to beat Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer in last night's ratings. While the much maligned and sure to be cancelled television show posted a 2.7 rating with 9.3 million viewers, the 49 year old Christmas special posted an impressive 3.0 rating and 11.39 million viewers. 

"It seems that audiences preferred Rudolph's lifeless voice acting and clunky stop motion animation to Agents of SHIELD's lifeless actual acting and clunky CGI," said Professor Thaddeus Puffinbottom of the DeVry University College of Television Viewing.  "Also, viewers probably felt that Rudolph's 50 year old plot was a bit less predictable than Agents of SHIELD's."

ABC was sure that they'd win the evening by tacking on an incredibly pointless post coital scene between male manniquin Brett Dalton and Ming-Na Wen, which featured the former showing off his acting chops (AKA his chiselled chest and abs) that earned him a part on the show.  "However, it appears that people preferred seeing two miniature clay reindeers romance one another," said Puffinbottoms.  "Probably because Rudolph has displayed more character and chest hair than Grant Ward has over the course of the television show." 

Puffinbottom hoped that ABC learned their lesson from last night's ratings, and believed that Agents of SHIELD could learn a thing or two from Rudolph.  "Hopefully, ABC will have Coulson's team visit the Island of Misfit Toys and dump off Skye and Ward there," Puffinbottom said.  "Or at least move up the inevitable musical episode we know Joss Whedon has written." 


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About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


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