Bleeding Cool reported today that Inhuman #1, the comic that was supposed to reposition the Inhumans with an explanded presence in the Marvel Universe, eventually allowing them to make an X-Men movie without the X-Men, has been delayed indefinitely. Listed as canceled at Diamond, the book will be resolicited at a later date. Marvel named "various reasons" for the postponement, but The Outhouse has discovered the true reason: artist Joe Madureira is actually an Ent, one of the giant tree people from Lord of the Rings.
"I draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw as fasssssssssssst as I neeeeeed. Burrarrum," said Madureira when asked for comment on the delays.
The Outhouse's investigation has discovered that Madureira is only one of possibly dozens of comic book artists who are actually Ents. Rob Liefeld, Bryan Hitch, James Stokoe, and Ethan Van Sciver are amongst a few of the artists also suspected to be tree people.
"Some of us are still true Ents, and lively enough in our fashion, but many are growing sleepy, going tree-ish, as you might say," explained fellow Ent John Cassaday. "Most of the trees are just trees, of course; but many are half awake. Some are quite wide awake, and a few are, well, ah, well getting Entish. That is going on all the time."
"When that happens to a tree, you find that some cannot handle a monthly comic schedule," Cassaday continued. "Still, we do what we can. We keep off strangers and the foolhardy; and we train and we teach, we walk and we weed. We play Call of Doody on the X-Box and we turn in pages seven months late."
"Purrrrr," added Jim Lee, who is not only an Ent, but also a lazy cat. "Purrrr," he reiterated before curling up at the top of a tall chair and falling asleep.
It is unknown when Inhuman will be resolicited, but it's likely that Marvel will have undergone three or four status quo shattering blockbuster events by that time, which will cause it to feel bizarre and outdated like Age of Ultron and Avengers: The Children's Crusade. Stay tuned to The Outhouse for details.