Monday, July 23, 2018 • Evening Edition • "The comic book industry's inflamed butthole."

WB Casts Unknown Actress as Wonder Woman to Prevent Repeat of Batfleck Jokes

Written by ThanosCopter on Wednesday, December 04 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

WB Casts Unknown Actress as Wonder Woman to Prevent Repeat of Batfleck Jokes

WB executives wanted to avoid the Internet mocking their casting decision for months on end.

Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

WB just announced the casting of Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman in the upcoming Man of Steel sequel.  One unnamed executive noted that while Gadot is a talented actress, she also possessed another quality that made her ideal for the role: no one really knows who she is.  "We were very impressed by her acting skills, her physique, and the fact that the average Internet commenter has nothing to say about her," the exec said.

Earlier this year, WB announced the casting of Ben Affleck as Batman, and was met with weeks of jokes mocking everything from the actor's participation in movies such as Gigli and Daredevil, to his Boston accent to his association with famed putz Kevin Smith.  The Outhouse managed to produce a record four articles about the topic in 12 hours, a feat unmatched by the website's unpaid and generally lazy staff.  With their casting of Batman still fodder for late night comedians, WB hoped to avoid that mistake by casting a near unknown in the role. 

The Israeli actress has only had a few roles since emerging in Hollywood after winning the Miss Israel competition, the most notable of those being a supporting role in Universal's The Fast and the Furious franchise, which has recently made headlines due to star Paul Walker's death last weekend.  "While we were initially worried about her participation in those films," the WB exec said.  "These days, if you make fun of The Fast and the Furious, you're an asshole, so we're pretty confident we'll avoid that blemish on her resume." 

In addition, WB executives were also excited to learn that her first name, Gal, was a traditional Hebrew name and not some silly made up pseudonym.  "Yeah, only editors who want to be accused of cultural insensitivity and mysogony will use a title like 'Wonder Gal' to describe her," the WB exec added.  In addition, Gadot has served in the Israeli army, so she's also immune to criticism that she couldn't play a warrior character.  

Initial Internet commentary has been mildly optimistic, with many people vaguely recalling her character in the Fast and Furious movies, while others have criticized her alleged dainty size (because no actor or actress has ever gotten into shape prior to a role ever).  All in all, WB is cautiously optimistic about how Gadot has been received.  "Your move, Internet," the executive said.  


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


More articles from ThanosCopter
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!