Greetings! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting from my hiding spot underneath President Obama's approval rating. Man, I am running out of room in here!
My friends, I am reporting today on some serious scoopage! According to Bludhaven Banter, a site with legit industry credited scoops (we keep score, baby!), a casting call has gone out for Iris West and "Detective" West, characters on the upcoming Flash TV show. Iris, of course, becomes Barry Allen's wife in the comics, and "Detective" West is her adoptive father, Ira, though the details could change from comics to screen as they often do. The real shocker, however, is in the descriptions. Check it out:
IRIS - 22-28 - African-American - As smart as she is beautiful, Iris is in grad school studying psychology. She's also Barry's mile a minute, fast-talking, quick-witted best friend. Her father, Detective West, took in Barry when his mother was murdered, and his father was wrongly accused and imprisoned for her murder. In a tough childhood for Barry, she was the one "not tough" thing. She's unaware of Barry's strong feelings for her.
DETECTIVE WEST - Late 40s to Early 50s - African American -Detective West is an honest, blue-collar cop who's seen it all. A soulful, funny caring father to Iris, and a surrogate father to Barry, West came up through the foster system himself. He took in Barry after his mother's murder and his father's imprisonment. He believes in Barry and supports Barry's efforts to prove his father's innocence.
Are you fucking kidding me, comrades? I mean, are you serious? You can't change important, fundamental details of a character like that! It isn't right, and the fans aren't going to stand for it! This is too much, DC Comics! It's a bridge too far!
Ira West is supposed to be a scientist, not a detective!
Wait, what did you think I was talking about?
Oh, yes, the Wests will also be black, a fact that is likely to upset racists, as you will learn by reading the comments section of this article approximately ten minutes from now.
Comrades, the world is changing. I remember, back in the day when Che Guevarra told me that he wanted to marry a Peruvian. A Peruvian! Can you believe that?! Man oh man, it was quite the scandal. I used to joke that Che must have had a bad case of the Jungle Fever, until one day he came down with a bad case of actual Jungle Fever. He almost died! It was hilarious!
But enough of that. Are the casting calls above for real? I certainly hope so, my friends, because it means that if the DC cinematic universe goes on long enough, we may eventually get a black Wally West too, and once that happens, Dan Didio will have no choice but to bring Wally back to the Nu52, since to refuse to do so would make him a racist!