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Disney Acquires Indiana Jones Rights; Harrison Ford's Corpse Part of Deal

Written by Jude Terror on Friday, December 06 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

Disney Acquires Indiana Jones Rights; Harrison Ford's Corpse Part of Deal

The newest Disney Princess looks like he could use a shave.

Source: Variety

The internet is shitting a brick right now because news just broke that Disney has acquired the distribution and marketing rights to the Indiana Jones franchise (they already had ownership rights from their purchase of Lucasfilm). Paramount Pictures will retain distribution rights on the first four films, as well as financial cut of the profits from future films. Harrison Ford's undead corpse is reportedly part of the deal, and the giant block of carbonite it's kept in between filming will be airlifted to Walt Disney World where it will be stored underneath the Epcot dome along with the frozen head of Walt Disney and the testicles of the Library of Congress.

There are no plans for a fifth Indiana Jones film yet, but Ford's corpse has expressed in making one in the past, and and fanboys could really use something new to bitch about endlessly. We're thinking it could be set in the sixties with Ford fighting CGI snakes from a wheelchair while bonding with his grandson, played by Justin Bieber.

We'll keep you updated on this breaking story.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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