The internet is shitting a brick right now because news just broke that Disney has acquired the distribution and marketing rights to the Indiana Jones franchise (they already had ownership rights from their purchase of Lucasfilm). Paramount Pictures will retain distribution rights on the first four films, as well as financial cut of the profits from future films. Harrison Ford's undead corpse is reportedly part of the deal, and the giant block of carbonite it's kept in between filming will be airlifted to Walt Disney World where it will be stored underneath the Epcot dome along with the frozen head of Walt Disney and the testicles of the Library of Congress.
There are no plans for a fifth Indiana Jones film yet, but Ford's corpse has expressed in making one in the past, and and fanboys could really use something new to bitch about endlessly. We're thinking it could be set in the sixties with Ford fighting CGI snakes from a wheelchair while bonding with his grandson, played by Justin Bieber.
We'll keep you updated on this breaking story.
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