Scientists from at least one top university today expressed growing concern over the recent plagiarism scandals engulfing Indiana Jones 4 and Transformers star Shia LaBeouf. The actor first made headlines when it was revealed that his new short film, HowardCantour.com, directly and obviously plagiarized the graphic novel Justin M. Damiano by Harvey Award winning comic book creator Daniel Clowes. Once caught, LaBeouf apologized on Twitter, but his apology itself was soon revealed to have ben plagiarized from a 2009 Yahoo Answers discussion. Further investigation showed that LaBeouf had developed some kind of plagiarism addiction, senselessly engaging in plagiarism where it was wholly unnecessary, perhaps hundreds of times.
But how could LaBeouf's shameful appropriation of other people's work without credit endanger anyone other than LaBeouf himself?
"At the rate Shia LaBeouf is plagiarizing, it's only a matter of time before he runs out of other people's material to steal," explained the head of the Batshit Insane Hollywood Star Meltdown Studies department at the prestigious University of Phoenix, Professor Thaddeus T. Puffinbottoms. "When that happens, he may have no choice but to plagiarize some of his own work, either deliberately or by accident."
Puffinbottoms went on to tell us that, if such a thing were to happen, an infinite plagiarism feedback loop could be created, causing LaBeouf's plagiarism to take on a life of its own, morphing into a new, deadly form of plagiarism that could threaten all life in the Universe.
"Just think," Puffinbottoms warned, pointing to some complex formulas scrawled on a whiteboard in his office. "Plagiarizing his own plagiarism… It could create a plagiarism paradox, warping the fabric of reality and sending humanity hurtling on a path to certain doom."
Shia LaBeouf could not be reached for comment, but he did announce a new movie project based on Puffinbottoms' theories to hit theaters in 2015, though he refused to give Puffinbottoms any credit for the idea.