A few days ago, a mysterious person surfaced on the seedy underbelly of the internet, Godzilla fan message boards, claiming to have info about the upcoming Godzilla movie. Even more mysteriously, the reports of the leak were disappearing almost as soon as they were posted.
That second mystery was solved when, almost immediately after posting our own short, rather innocuous report about the leak, which didn't contain any imagery or quotes from the supposed leaked script, we received a takedown request from Warner Bros. It was a typical form letter used in these types of matters, but instead of listing a specific piece of content like an image or video as infringing, as these things usually do, it simply named "Godzilla." We are unsure if Warner Bros. was referring to details about the Godzilla movie, the word "Godzilla," or the actual monster himself, because they didn't respond to our request for clarification. Whatever it was, it was pretty fucking absurd, because "a leaker surfaced on the internet and made a this claim" does not seem like the sort of thing that could be the intellectual property of Warner, at least in our admittedly non-expert legal opinion. Unless Warner Bros. has an upcoming movie in development in which Cage plays a lonely reporter for a third-rate comic book website who posts leaked plot details about an upcoming monster movie remake. And if they do, then we're sending THEM a fucking takedown notice.
I mean, if leaked plot details were illegal, how the fuck could the entire Hollywood scoop industry even exist? Is El Mayimbe currently serving 247 consecutive life sentences in prison for spoiling all those Marvel movies? Maybe he's running Latino-Review from prison? "What are you in for?" "Scoops, brother."
More entertainingly, however, Warners' panicky response to the report, trying to intimidate sites like Toho Kingdom and The Outhouse into scrubbing all references to it, makes it seem more likely that the leaker is telling the truth. Ironically, more people are likely to believe that the leaks are true with Warner Bros. running around the internet threatening websites and making them take down any account of it than if Warner had simply ignored it or put out a statement denying that the leak was correct.
But okay, Warner. We've taken down any plot details from the leak. Instead, here are some facts that are not the intellectual property of anyone:
1. A leak exists on the internet about Godzilla spoilers. The leak purports to have plot details about the movie.
2. Warner Bros. is sending out takedown requests to sites that talk about the leak, claiming simply "Godzilla" as the infringing content. Warner has, it seems, been dilligent in preventing anyone from finding out much of anything about this movie, hunting down and getting rid of leaked pics and art for months.
3. Warner Bros., which is distributing Godzilla, is also responsible in some way for the following utter pieces of shit: Catwoman, Battlefield Earth, Scooby Doo, Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, The Dukes of Hazard, 3000 Miles to Graceland, Wild Wild West, The Avengers (remake of the TV show), The Wicker Man, Jonah Hex, House of Wax (remake), Clash of the Titans (remake), Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, Arthur (remake starring Russell fucking Brand), Twister, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, Christopher Columbus: The Discovery, Hot to Trot, Caddyshack 2, Cobra, Who's That Girl, Under the Cherry Moon, Cannonball Run 2, The Postman, Wyatt Earp, The Bodyguard (Warner fucking loves Kevin Costner), Batman and Robin, Superman Returns, and Man of Steel.
So how much faith do you have that this film is going to be good?
Have fun reading this article before Warner sends us a takedown notice claiming that mentioning Battlefield Earth in an article is a violation of their intellectual property rights.