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Aquaman to Get Second Ongoing Series, Industry Collapse Imminent

Written by ThanosCopter on Tuesday, January 14 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

Aquaman to Get Second Ongoing Series, Industry Collapse Imminent

The industry is poised to finally end after DC announced a second ongoing series featuring the man who talks to fish.

Source: CBR

Multiple analysts believe the comic book industry is on the brink of collapse after DC announced Aquaman and the Others, a second ongoing series featuring Aquaman.  Written by Dan Jurgens, the series will focus on Aquaman and his relationship with the Others, a group of island castaways with mysterious plans, extremely convincing fake beards and the partial control of a smoke monster a group of superheroes with Atlantean artifacts introduced in Geoff Johns' Aquaman series.  

Upon hearing the news that there would now be two Aquaman ongoing series, many feared the worst.  "The comic industry is obviously entering its final days," said Thaddeus T. Puffinbottoms, a professor of spontaneous industry collapse at DeVry University.  "It was never meant to sustain two Aquaman books.  It's like pouring sugar and water into a gas tank.  The car might be able to survive one, but not both."

Fans largely agreed with Puffinbottom's assessment and took to the streets to protest.  "This is wrong!" shouted Joshua Borgosian, a 41 year old comic book fan, as he lit a Molotov cocktail and threw it at a police station.   "Does DC care nothing about their fans?"

"I don't think I can survive a world with two Aquaman books," agreed Mary Nash, a 61 year librarian, as she and three other protestors pulled down a police officer off a horse and beat him.  "It just feels so wrong."  Many other comic book fans professed similar sentiments, usually while engaging in random acts 

When asked about the new series' effect on the industry, DC head honcho Dan Didio pulled out a fiddle.  "Let the world burn," he said, as he began to play the instrument. 

Aquaman and the Others #1 will be released in April 2014.  Jurgens will write the issue and Lan Medina and Ed Tadeo will provide artwork. 


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About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


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