Written by ThanosCopter
on Tuesday, January 28 2014 and posted in News with Benefits
Upworthy style journalism, right here.
Source: ThanosCopter Newswire
Henry Cecil, a 42 year old man from Brooklyn, was so upset by a recent issue of Superman/Wonder Woman, he decided to eat the comic book as a protest against what he feels is a forced romance between two of DC's largest characters. "It was supposed to be a form of civil disobediance," Cecil told the Outhouse.
But what he didn't expect was his stomach to have a violent reaction to the 32 pages worth of dried ink on the paper. Nor did he expect the staples he consumed to perforate his intestines, forcing doctors to conduct emergency surgery and remove several feet of his intestines, plus his spleen.
"In hindsight, I probably should have just bitched on the Internet about the comic," Cecil said while recovering in his hospital. "I probably would still have all of my organs if I did that."
So what's the moral of this story? Don't eat comic books. And don't believe nonsense stories with crappy, sensationalized article titles. And fuck you for clicking on this shitty, sensationlist link.
We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.
Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
More articles from ThanosCopter