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Bleeding Cool Changes Format, And What Happened Next WIll Shock You!

Written by Elf With a Gun on Wednesday, January 29 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

Bleeding Cool Changes Format, And What Happened Next WIll Shock You!

Shocking the comics Blogosphere, Bleeding Cool begins featuring mindless and insipid Top Five lists.

Source: Bleeding Cool

Comic readers and fans of unverified gossip were stunned this morning by a new article at Bleeding Cool. Titled "The Top Five Batman Villains of All-Time?", the piece lacked news, gossip, rumor, snark, or any other meaningful content. Instead, it seemingly exists only to act as click bait.

Although the segment's byline indicates it was written by Brandon Engel, sources confirm it was posted by recently-appointed Editor-In-Chief Hannah Means-Shannon. At this hour, speculation is running rampant that this is proof of Shannon's secret plans for the Newsaramafication of Bleeding Cool. Indeed, in the Bleeding Cool forums, one regular user, identified only as Matt Krotzer, asks "Did I somehow end up at Newsarama?"

We reached out to 52-year old comic book fan Herbert R. Kellenberger for a quote. Mr. Kellenberger had this to say: "The only Blogs I read are Bleeding Cool and The Beat, but The Beat hates white men, and then they started doing those stupid Gawker-style headlines. Now Bleeding Cool is doing the same thing. If Bleeding Cool starts hating white men, too, I don't know what I'll do. Probably have to stop reading comics. Or at least threaten to. Or maybe just stop reading comic Blogs, and sign up for or something. Do they have cosplay pictures on there?" 

Sources inside Bleeding Cool, who wish to remain unidentified, confirmed that planned follow-up articles include "Top Five Rob Liefeld Pouches", "Top Ten Reasons Kelly Sue DeConnick Should Relaunch Captain Marvel Again", "DC Comics Rebooted Their Continuity, And What Happened Next Will Underwhelm You", and "Ron Marz's Top Five Political Tweets". The unidentified source then said, "Oi, governor. Make bloody sure you don't tell them it came from me, wot? There's a good chap."  

More on this story as it develops...


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About the Author - Elf With a Gun

Elf With a Gun appeared in several Marvel comics of the 70s and 80s, most notably harassing The Defenders and Spider-Man, before being abducted by Steve Gerber for use as a foil against Destroyer Duck. After wandering the wastelands of Forgotten Comic Character Limbo, he hitched a ride on the ThanosCopter and now resides at the Outhouse, bringing his snark, elf hat, pointy shoes, and very big gun to a new generation of comic readers. His Give-A-Fuck quotient is stuck at zero. 

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