It's been 27 days since we've had an opportunity to reset the Has DC Done Something Stupid Today counter. Though this is not the longest DC has ever gone without doing something stupid, it can't be denied that DC seems to have clamped down on massive publicity clusterfucks and embarrassing snafus since their Really Stupid Week last year, in which they managed to have two concurrently running ongoing train wrecks of stupidity in the driving of J.H. Williams III and W. Haden Blackman off of Batwoman and the Harley Quinn Suicide Contest. So what's going on?
Could it be that DC has finally learned from their mistakes?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, just a little joke. No, we're we're sure there's another explanation.
So, in honor of Top Five Day on The Outhouse, we've compiled a list of the Top Five Reasons DC Comics Has Not Done Something Stupid Lately.
The Top Five Reasons DC Comics Has Not Done Something Stupid Lately
1. They're afraid of the counter.
Striking fear in the hearts of stupid executives!
Even the dumbest animal, with enough repetition, can learn to change its behavior. Since even before the advent of the Nu52, DC has been involved in a constant cycle of doing something stupid (like demanding a talented creator make last minute editorial changes to fit in with the latest editorial mandate), watching the press and fandom explode with mockery and outrage over the stupid act, and then doubling down by sending Dan Didio to taunt fans at a convention or having Jim Lee explain to fans on Twitter why they're wrong in the most condescending manner possible, which itself results in even more mockery.
With the advent of the Has DC Done Something Stupid Today counter, fans have had a focal point that allows them to always know, with a quick glance, whether or not DC has done something stupid recently. Every time DC screws up, they pay for it with a counter reset and all the tweets about the reset and the discussion that rages online and in social media. Even a company as stupid as DC recognizes that it's not a good thing for your customers to constantly be tweeting links to a website dedicated to calling you stupid. And so, DC has realized that giving us an excuse to reset the counter is a bad thing, and it seems like they may be actively trying to avoid doing stupid things, or, at the very least, prevent those stupid things from playing out on a public stage. While this is bad for unique hits, overall, we have to admit it's probably good for the comics industry.
2. They've already chased off most of their talented creators.
We're not saying that there aren't still talented creators working at DC. John Layman, Scott Snyder, Charles Soule, Gail Simone, Matt Kindt, Ethan Van Sciver, just to name a few - all of these creators are extremely talented. But they're also immune to editorial interference because of their big name status (Snyder, Simone), are loyal company men (Van Sciver), or, in the case of creators who are still kind of up and coming like Kindt or Soule, they're writing too many books for multiple companies to pay too much attention to DC's editorial idiocy.
Whatever the reasons, DC hasn't driven a well-known creator off of a beloved comic in months, and when creators do leave projects, either it's drama-free, or DC has bribed the creator enough to pretend it is. Either way, that's actually an improvement over their previous scorched earth policy of talent relations. So, nice job, DC.
The snowpocalypse that's been shutting down schools, causing Atlanta residents to abandon their vehicles, and in general wreaking havoc on the Eastern and middle parts of America is clearly taking a toll on DC. It's probably the primary motivating factor for the company's desire to move to Burbank, CA, where they can be stupid under the warm embrace of the California sun, while laughing as the rest of the world suffers under the crushing might of the polar vortex.
Of course, with DC's luck and penchant for stupidity, they'll probably scew things up and end up accidentally moving the company to Fairbanks, Alaska instead of Burbank, California, resulting in even colder weather and, inadvertantly, even fewer counter resets. Damn you, DC!
4. They've essentially automated their operation, eliminating human error.
He couldn't possibly do a worse job.
Maybe the reason DC is not fucking up as often is because all of their management staff have been replaced by emotionless robots. It isn't like it would be that difficult to program a robot to perform Dan Didio's job, and, short of achieving artificial intelligence and taking control of all the world's machine to eradicate human's from the fact of the planet, we don't see how robots could possibly run the company worse than Didio, Harras, Johns, Lee, and Nelson. Robots are also notoriously uninterested in social media, so when they do screw up, they're likely to just continue on with whatever they're programmed to be doing instead of worrying about convincing fans that they're actually smart. Robots don't give a fuck what you think. They're the perfect fit for DC.
5. No one cares anymore.
It may not be that DC has stopped doing stupid things as often. Certainly, there's no shortage of bad comic books being produced by DC. They recently canceled six titles in their April solicitations, they've had supervillain Lex Luthor join the Justice League in a rehash of Marvel's six year old Dark Reign storyline, they recently announced an initiative to make their books even grimmer and grittier than they are now, and Scott Lobdell still has a job. But after years of abuse from the company, maybe the real problem is that fans just don't have any more fucks to give about it. Maybe DC fans have gone from feeling anger and resentment toward the company's constant ruination of decades worth of character development and continuity to feeling nothing but apathy for it. And that, dear readers, may be the stupidest thing DC has done yet.
We hope you enjoyed our list of the top five reasons DC hasn't done anything stupid lately. Do you think we missed anything? Post your own list in the comments below!