Hit CBS sitcom The Big Bang Theory ruffled some feathers once again last night with an episode that featured legendary actor James Earl Jones in a comedic guest star role. Jones, playing himself in the episode, meets Jim Parsons' quirky theoretical physicist, Sheldon Cooper, in a restaurant and bonds with the autistic nerd over a shared love of Star Wars. Things went downhill from there, according to outraged fanboys, as Jones, who voiced Darth Vader in the Star Wars franchise, is revealed to be fun-loving and immature, inviting Cooper to join him on various pranks and escapades, such as ringing the doorbell of fellow Star Wars star Carrie Fisher and running away before she answers.
"James Earl Jones is an accomplished actor, and I believe he would behave with far more dignity than that if he met a Star Wars fan at a sushi restaurant," complained Gus Sterlingham, reporter for clickbait website ComicBooks.net and president of the Bitching About Big Bang Theory Bureau (BABBTB). "He most certainly would never visit a strip club, and I highly doubt he would rock the cart on a Ferris wheel. That's dangerous, and it presents a bad example."
Sterlingham, who de-friended anyone on Facebook who was a fan of the show in early 2013, told The Outhouse that he has sent friend requests to hundreds of people, just so that he can block them again in retaliation for the episode. "If you get an invite, please accept it," Sterlingham asked us to tell our readers.
"When are geeks going to realize that Big Bang Theory is laughing at them, not with them?" wondered Sterlingham, who doesn't believe anyone should be laughed at ever.
The portrayal of Earl Jones wasn't the only fault Sterlingham and the BABBTB found with last night's episode. In another plot line, characters Penny, Bernadette, and Blossom attend an afternoon tea party at a hotel in an attempt to "be more adult," only to find that the party is populated entirely by pre-pubescent girls.
"That's outrageous!" cried Sterlingham, spittle flying from his mouth. "There's nothing wrong with adults having tea parties! That's agism! Don't you agree, Lady Bearington?" Bearington, a stuffed bear wearing a tiny floral dress and sun hat and seated across from Sterlingham at a miniature cafe table in his bedroom, declined to comment.
Though the BABBTB focuses solely on being outraged about Big Bang Theory, Sterlingham in no way limits his righteous indignation to the award-winning sitcom. A quick glance at Sterlingham's Facebook page shows that the critic is also offended by professional sports, people who watch professional sports, people who complain about professional sports, and people who complain about people who complain about professional sports. In one notable incident of outrage last year, Sterlingham first complained about Jim Steranko criticizing Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Clark Gregg for being offended by Steranko, and then Gregg again for ironically favoriting a tweet from ComicBooks.net about it.
At press time, Sterlingham was reportedly holding his breath until CBS agreed to cancel the sitcom and replace it with a humorless documentary about geeks being completely unremarkable. Though his cheeks had been puffed out for a full three minutes and his face was the same shade of purple as McDonalds mascot The Grimace, CBS had not yet agreed to his demands. We'll keep you updated on Sterlingham's campaign as the outrage spreads across the internet and social media like a sexually transmitted virus.