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Blecch - First Look at Action Figures for Michael Bay's 'TMNT'

Written by Zechs on Saturday, February 01 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

Blecch - First Look at Action Figures for Michael Bay's 'TMNT'

You've seen and lamented the poster, final image statues, and Halloween costume. Now, behold the figures from the toy line, and weep!

Source: Come Look At Michael Bay's TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES As Action Figures

ComicBookMovie has done it again. No doubt from the same Toy Fair that yielded this image of a TMNT poster comes a look at the upcoming action figure line by Playmates, which has distributed the franchise since it began in the 1980s. Take a look for yourself:


Cowabunga, dude! Can you spare five bucks so I can go get high?


Yeah. The figures give us a good look at the appearance of three of the four Turtles, and also shows off the lack of articulation, and other cool features like Michaelangeo's sweat pants and Donatello's steampunk cosplay outfit.

Perhaps more disturbingly, the image offers a frightening look into Michael Bay's obsession with reinventing the codpiece/dick flap. There's a very phallic subtext to these designs. Though the image is missing Leonardo, The Outhouse has obtained this image of W.A.S.P. frontman Blackie Lawless and photoshopped Leonardo's head onto him, which is probably close enough:


I shell like a beast.


The Outhouse will keep you updated as this story develops.


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About the Author - Zechs

Zechs is the lord and master of The Toy Shed, Moment of the Week, and Durnkin Reveewz. He's also the official whuppin boy at the Outhouse. So he'll get stuck seeing stuff that no mere mortal should ever see. If there's any greater quality to Zechs, it's that he's an avid fan of comic book characters and would defend them to the bitter end against the companies that use them wrongly. He's also brutally honest. Zechs walks the lonely path in Chicagoland area.


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