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CBS Ditches Geeks for Jocks as NFL Football Ousts Big Bang Theory from Thursday Nights

Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, February 06 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

CBS Ditches Geeks for Jocks as NFL Football Ousts Big Bang Theory from Thursday Nights

CBS will move Big Bang Theory and Elementary to other nights to accommodate eight Thursday Night Football games next year.

Source: NFL

CBS has gotten some great ratings from its Thursday night powerhouse sitcom The Big Bang Theory, but that didn't stop them from kicking the show to the curb, or at least to another weeknight, when they scored the rights to broadcast the NFL's Thursday Night Football games next year. Though the move will probably be lucrative for the network, it serves as a painful reminder to geeks everywhere that no matter how smart they are or how many of their favorite superheroes become multi-billion dollar pop culture franchises, the jocks will always get special treatment. The Outhouse spoke to a jilted geek who just learned of the deal for further insight.

"I feel like I've just gotten my head shoved in the toilet," said Newton Weenmeyer, a 28 year old IT consultant from Durham, North Carolina. "Every Thursday night, I get together with all my friends on Facebook while we watch Big Bang Theory and complain about how it exploits and demeans geek culture. How could CBS move it to another night?"

"What am I supposed to do instead? Watch the Vampire Diaries?" Weenmeyer laughed nervously. "I mean, I wouldn't watch that show. I'm not a tween girl!"

"Ha ha," he added, eyes darting around as he shuffled his feet.

In it's seventh season, Big Bang Theory still draws in over 18 million viewers per week. That's 18 million geeks on Thursday nights robbed of formulaic jokes about comic books, Star Trek, and theoretical physics, as well as the opportunity to complain about how inaccurately those things are portrayed. Viewers looking for the newest opportunity to log on to social media and express outrage over the show's uninspired use of racial stereotypes or its implication that nerds are uncomfortable around attractive women will have to tune in another night to get their fix.

But according to Weenmeyer, rearranging his viewing schedule isn't an option. "This completely throws off my schedule. On Mondays, I write emails to the BBC demanding that they reveal the location of the missing episodes of Doctor Who. On Tuesdays, I watch Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and then write an article on my blog about how Marvel can save that horrible show before it's too late. On Wednesdays, of course, I pick up all my favorite comic books, flip through them, and then go onine to talk about how Marvel and DC are ruining my life."

"Thursday is Big Bang Theory," he continued. "Then on Friday, I argue about continuity on message boards. Saturday, I go through my Facebook friends list and block anyone who responded negatively to all my complaints during the week, and then Sunday I write emo posts on Facebook about the people I blocked. There's no room for anything else."

"It's not fair," Weenmeyer cried. "I'm tired of being pushed around by jocks."

At press time, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo had reportedly shoulder-checked Weenmeyer in the hallway, causing him to drop all of his books on the floor. When Weenmeyer bent over to pick them up, Romo gave him a wedgie. In addition to Big Bang Theory, Elementary will need to find a new night as well.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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