Greetings! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting from a luxury suite at the Sochi Olympic Games! Can you believe they have half toilets here? That's 50% more toilet than we have back in Cuba! Haw haw haw!
Ladies and gentleman, I've got a scoop for you this morning! The Hollywood Reporter announced that Ben McKenzie will play James Gordon in the upcoming Fox TV series, Gotham. Gotham is a police procedural teen drama set in Gotham City in the time before Bruce Wayne becomes Batman, focusing on James Gordon and featuring all of Batman's most famous villains as teenagers. As potentially awful (or awesomely awful) as that sounds, it just got weirder, because McKenzie is actually an animated character and not a real person!
That's right, comrades! Ben McKenzie played Batman in the 2011 DC animated movie Batman: Year One. It's crazy, but McKenzie has actually played roles in other live action shows before, such as Southland and The O.C., so it is apparently something he can pull off. Use of a cartoon character in real life settings is not unprecedented either. Back when we were trying to get revenge on JFK for the Bay of Pigs Invasion, Che Guevara had the excellent idea to use popular cartoon temptress Betty Boop to seduce the president and steal state secrets. If cartoon characters can participate in international espionage, surely they can star in a show on Fox!
This Gotham TV show is shaping up to be something... what's that? Oh, really? Yes, in retrospect, it makes a lot more sense.
My friends, I must apologize. I mistakenly believed that Ben McKenzie is an animated character playing real life roles, but it turns out he is actually a real person who just happened to voice Batman in 2011. It's an honest mistake, comrades, and I hope you understand. Here's a picture of Ben, so we can debate on whether he is sexy enough to play a role like the future Commissioner Gordon.
Hmmm. I don't know, I kind of wish he had bigger boobs.
Stay tuned to The Outhouse and Cubano Review, the number Latino-themed Hollywood gossip website on the internet for more details on Gotham!
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About the Author - El Presidente
El Presidente gave up his position as President and Prime Minister of Cuba, as well as First Secretary of Cuba's Communist Party, in 2008 in order to concentrate on his true love: Hollywood gossip reporting. Forming the rumor website Cubano Review, El Presidente built a name for himself based on over THREE DOZEN industry credited trade scoops. Unfortunately, capitalist American trade embargoes have rendered CubanoReview.com unreachable from within the United States, forcing El Presidente to syndicate his articles to The Outhouse, which flies under the radar of the American oligarchy thanks to most leaders assuming it is a scat porn site, which, to be fair, is basically true.
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