Editor's Note: The following article is an anonymous submission from "Angry Kickstarter Fan". We've decided to run the article in its entirety to show that we don't limit our pedantism and nitpicking to mainstream comics and movies.
Oh geez. These Indie schmucks really have no idea what they're doing with these kickstarters, do they!? Living in their own little world of dark unheated apartments with only Black Flag posters covering the holes in the wall, they come up with these “rewards” to try and enticed us into their dreary black and white realm from our wonderfully rendered and supremely colorful world.
Look at this particularly inept example.
First off… Before we get into the lame-ass rewards, what do these guys expect to get outta coattail riding on the Ramones? Why don’t you steal some Little Richard and Chuck Berry songs while you’re at it? Hitch a ride somewhere else you classless bastards. You don’t see real comic guys exploiting the legacies of Kirby, Ditko and Steranko., do ya? (Well, outside of every artist alley at every comic con everywhere…. But that’s different. That’s fan art!)
Second… The video is horrible. I’ve watched it like three times and I still can’t help but think the Nix Comics guys are pulling my leg.
Now about the basics. Nix Comics offering two different books. The Ramones one (which is supposedly a true true story and Illustrated by Andy Bennett. At least he’s a REAL comics guy who has been DC and Marvel and stuff...) and a reprint of 1983’s Pure Entertainment #4 which has rock n roll stories by Pete Friedrich, Bob Camp, Eric Cartier, Mort Todd, Peter Kuper and assorted other Alt Comix dudes.
Yeah. You read right. A reprint. This numb-nutz indie schlep must have his pork pie hat on too tight if he thinks people are gonna shell out their good money for a reprint, no matter how cool it it is! Get a grip! Comics fans today are waaay too sophisticated to buy the same old stuff just because its in a shiny new package…. Well, unless buying the reprint ensures that Alan Moore keeps his be-ringed paws off of the Watchmen license for another year.
But, putting aside the actual books, the rewards here are a mess. Sure, Nix Comics takes the commendable leap of shilling for subscriptions to its other “Rock n Roll” comic titles. If you’ll buy the first two books, why not everything Nix has published for $100 bucks. After that, things get weird.
First there’s the limited run Bob Camp poster. Nostalgia and sentimentality makes the gray matter on these 40 and 50 something indie guys turn to pudding. Just because the guy worked on their beloved GI Joe comic and a bunch of cartoons including Ren & Stimpy doesn’t mean we want a freakin’ $25 poster no matter how few they print.
And what is up with this and why should I pay $40 for it?
Then we get to the “collectible things.” Original Art by Andy Bennett is an OK reward. Bennett is a favorite artist of many who will probably overlook the blatant Ramonesploitation of the artwork. I guess that one is solid if you have the patience to go that far down the list.
But what about this “Autographed Ramones LP” at the bottom? Maybe this hipster is more of a poser after all, because everybody knows that End of the Century is essentially a Joey Ramone solo album produced by Phil Spector. Never mind that though… the real problem here is that these record collectors need the equivalent of of CGC or something. How are we supposed to trust a collectible that hasn’t been graded by an impartial third party and then forever sealed in archival plastic. Since its not slabbed, the condition of this record will open to anyone who wants to look at it! Hell… some moron might actually play it!
So nice try Nix Comics. Take some time to meditate while you trim your goatee… OH EXCUSE ME… Van Dyke... and then come back when you know how the game is played.
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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