When Marvel first announced that they'd be releasing the first trailer for their upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy movie, fan reaction was mixed. While most were estactic that the company was finally gearing up to market their riskiest movie yet, many were upset that the trailer was to debut on Jimmy Kimmel Live on Tuesday night. "When I heard that I'd have to sit through Jimmy Kimmel's show to see the Guardians of the Galaxy trailer, I was worried that I might put screwdrivers through my eyes and ears before the trailer came on," complained Jeremy Howitzer, a 33 year old bartender from Seattle. "What did the world do to Marvel for them to do that to us? Did we not watch Avengers enough?:
Jimmy Kimmel Live, suspected to be an elaborate terrorist attack by many in the intelligence industry, is the only television show in history to earn a Surgeon General's warning as being hazardous for viewers' health, as audience members' heads have actually exploded after Kimmel milks the same joke over and over again for years. Marvel fans were none too pleased with the prospect with having to sit through the late night host's atrocious monologues and patently unfunny skits. "When I said that I would die if I had to wait another day for the Guardians of the Galaxy trailer, I didn't think Marvel actually would listen," said Jackson Coffman, a real estate broker in Nashville.
Luckily for fans, Marvel released a 20 second teaser trailer this morning, seen as many as a compromise for the billions who'd rather self amputate an arm that deal with Kimmel's obnoxious face for thirty minutes. "I'll just watch this teaser fifty times," said Howitzer. "And then catch the full trailer on Thursday when it releases somewhere besides Kimmel's show."
Still, many are confused as to why Marvel would associate their riskiest movie with the toxic cesspool that is Jimmy Kimmel's show. Some believe that the studio's move is an attempt on Marvel's part to make the trailer look extra appealing. "North Korea often airs marathons of Jimmy Kimmel Live in order to break down resistance among the population," said Professor Thaddeus P. Puffinbottoms, professor of Douchey Late Night Host Studies at DeVry University. "That way, whatever airs afterwards is considered to be the greatest thing ever by comparison. It's clear that Marvel is employing the same tactics that North Korea uses to foster goodwill towards Kim Jong Un. It's a bold strategy, but one that forces people to watch Jimmy Kimmel in order to succeed."
Whatever the reason, here's the 20 second teaser for your enjoyment. We hope you do the right thing and choose to wait until the trailer hits the Internet on Thursday instead of suffering through Kimmel's show tonight.
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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