Last night, Deadline teased and tantalized a bloodthirsty internet with a veritable golden goose of snark when they claimed that Warner Bros. is planning a sequel to Space Jam, the 1996 Looney-Tunes-meets-Michael-Jordan live action/animated flick (based on a true story). As if Christmas had come ten months early, they also said the film would be a vehicle for Miami Heat star and lucky Cleveland escapee Lebron James.
For those of you who don't know, James is basically the Rob Liefeld of basketball. Both started out as arrogant young superstars. Both left their previous job in a drama-fueled public fiasco. Both had spokesperson deals with major apparel brands, James with Nike and Liefeld with Levis. And both are the targets of relentless mockery on the internet. Basically, it was a dream come true.
Last night, I spent about 90 minutes working on this article with fellow Outhouse reporter Juan Cena. Cena thought the article should be dry and snarky, while I thought it should be totally over the top. After all, this is Lebron James in Space Jam 2. We've gotta bring our A-Game to that.
Unfortunately, as it turns out, we were both wasting our time, as ESPN's Brian Windhorst, who should probably be banned from Twitter for this, debunked the rumor via sources close to James:
Well it was fun while it lasted. LeBron sources refute Deadline report, there's no Space Jam 2 or Warner Bros. project in works— Brian Windhorst (@WindhorstESPN) February 22, 2014
And in 144 characters or less, the hopes and dreams of an endless windfall of Lebron James Space Jam 2 jokes were dashed for sarcastic websites everywhere. We hope you're happy, Brian, you fat jerk.
Warner Bros., if you're listening, even if you weren't planning on making this film, you need to make it now. If not, I may have to consider taking my talent to the sports blogosphere, and then who would operate the Has DC Done Something Stupid Today counter?
UPDATE: It seems dreams CAN come true. After all the buzz generated by the mere inkling of a Lebron James Space Jam 2, James told Florida Newspaper Sun Sentinal that, despite the rumor being false, he's not against the idea:
"It's news to me," James said. "I haven't heard anything about it. Like I said, I've always loved Space Jam. It was one of my favorite movies growing up. If I have the opportunity, it will be great. But that's news to me. Obviously, I don't want to be on there with this thing on my nose. We'll see what happens."