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Some Guy Tapped To Write Sandman Script For Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Written by GHERU on Wednesday, February 26 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

Some Guy Tapped To Write Sandman Script For Joseph Gordon-Levitt

After extensive research, The Outhouse can state that he is definitely British. Maybe. He has a BAFTA at least.

Source: Jack Thorne To Script ‘Sandman’ For Joseph Gordon-Levitt

The comic book blogosphere was rocked to its core today when it was announced that Jack Thorne would be writing the Sandman script for the David Goyer project starring Mr. “page hit” himself, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Reactions varied from “Who?” to “Who the fuck?” to “They say his name like I should know it” to “The least Deadline could have done was link to his IMDB page or list a project he worked on that people actually know” to “Yea, but has he banged a hot goth chick? How can someone write about Morpheus unless he's getting banged by a bunch of emo college kids?”

For more detailed reactions, we turn to the thousands of hidden cameras The Outhouse has plastered in every major comic book news website, and Comics Alliance.

Newsarama #1: Does anyone know who this guy is? Really people, what is DC and Marvel paying us for if we can’t sell the Sandman writer as a big deal? Fine, I’ll just re-word the Deadline article and add a brief blurb explain what Sandman is to our readers.

Newsarama #2: Shouldn’t our readers know what Sandman is?

Newsarama #1: Has it been in a Marvel Top Ten article this week? No, no it hasn’t.

CBR #1: I don’t care what you write about whatshisname, just make sure to explain in small words what Sandman is to our readers. These are the same people that like Greg Land, so we can’t assume too much about their intelligence.

CBR #2: That’s like saying we’d have to describe Star Wars if we were a Science Fiction Film site. Don’t you think...

CBR #1: …Think what? In my long time writing about comic books I have never failed when I assume the audience is made up of a bunch of morons.

Comics Alliance: Look at those fools over at Newsarama and CBR; they’ve never heard of Jack Thorne. How out of touch can you be? I’ve known Jack Thorne since grade school and edited the first draft of his BAFTA award winning television program, The Fades.

The Outhouse: yea, but has he fucked anybody funny?

Latino Review: CALLED IT! Five years ago I reported on a tip that the writer for the not-yet-announced Sandman movie would have vowels in his or her name, and see, I was right. This guy, whatever his name is, totally hat at least two vowels in his name. For those “keeping score” that’s one more industry credited trade scoop point for me!

The Outhouse: Can we Photoshop his head on to a hippo? Hippos are British too, right?

Wow, Mr Borne really…what, oh, yea sorry, I forgot…Mr. Thorne has added a much needed jolt of energy into this Sandman project.

We think.

No one really knows.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 


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About the Author - GHERU

RU, or as he’s known in the writers’ room: the cute one, is relatively unappreciated in his time.  RU’s YouTube show, RUviews is watched by literally multiple people every month and his Outhouse articles have helped line many a bird cage.  Before you send RU a message, he knows that there are misspelled words in this article, and probably in this bio he was asked to write.  RU wants everyone to know that after 25+ years of collecting he still loves comic books and can’t believe how seriously fanboys take them.  RU lives in Akron Ohio (unfortunately) with WIFE, ‘lilRuRu, and the @DogGodThor.  You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, & even Google+ (if anyone still uses that).


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