Moviegoers were shocked on Thursday to learn that DC Comics plans to release Superman vs. Batman on the same day as Marvel Studios plans to release Captain America 3. Though Marvel originally held the May 6, 2016 slot for an unnamed film. DC pushed back the release date for its blockbuster Man of Steel sequel due to constantly adding more and more DC characters in an attempt to replicate Marvel's Avengers success. On Thursday, Marvel revealed that Captain America 3 was the unnamed movie and said they will not back down from the date, setting the stage for a showdown between the rival companies.
But according to our sources, the conflict over the date has been building since before either movie was more than a twinkle in the eye of a Hollywood executive.
"I saw the whole thing," claims Plato, a fifteen year old friend of Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige, describing a meeting between Feige and DC Comics mogul Dan Didio. "Kevin was coming out of the Griffith Observatory where they were showing a presentation on the death of the universe, and he noticed some of Dan's friends slashing the tires on his hot rod. Kevin had had some run ins with Dan, a local bully, previously."
"Dan went right up to Kevin and challenged him to a knife fight," Plato went on. "He didn't want to do it, but the guys kept calling him a chicken, so Kevin kicked Dan's ass. It didn't end there, though. Dan challenged Kevin to a chicken run to settle the score once and for all. That's when both guys drive their cars toward a cliff and see who 'chickens out' and jumps out of the car first."
Feige (left) and Didio (right), in happier times.
So with both sides unwilling to back down, it looks like the fight for May 6th will be settled by both a literal and a figurative game of chicken, with Feige and Didio racing toward certain doom in automobiles, and Marvel and DC racing headlong into the 2016 summer blockbuster season on a collision course toward split profits and poor box office performance. Neither conflict is likely to end well.
Stay tuned to The Outhouse for updates on both chicken races, and Dan, we recommend you leave your leather jacket at home.