Source: Robot 6
Gary Reed recently announced that he was reviving Caliber Comics, a popular indie comics publisher that met its demise in 2000. Caliber was responsible for many creators' breaks into the industry, and publisher popular series such as Kabuki, The Crow and Deadworld. While Caliber won't be jumping back into the monthly comics game, Reed did state that it would be publishing several graphic novels and collections of their past work.
While fans of the publisher are delighted about the publisher's return, others are fearing the worst. "When I first heard that Caliber was coming back, I was confused," said Marvel editor in chief Axel Alonso. "This is the second time that the comic industry has seen a publisher rise from the grave. One's a coincidence, two makes a trend. Obviously Caliber's return can only mean one thing: zombie apocalypse." Alonso donned a leather biker's vest and a crossbow. "Time to become the hero I always knew I could be."
Alonso isn't the only comics professional preparing for the zombie apocalypse. "We need to get out of the city before society totally breaks down!" shouted DC executive Dan Didio as he hastily burned sensitive documents in his DC office. "Any creator that's been in contact with either Caliber or Valiant in the next six months should be quarantined immediately and shot in the head."
"Even Matt Kindt?" asked Dan Didio's secretary, a poorly disguised Rich Johnston in a blonde wig.
"Especially Matt Kindt!" replied Didio. "Someone get Johns on the phone and tell him to prepare the zombie bunker in Burbank. I knew this West Coast move was a smart one!"
Even experts are predicting dire consequences to Caliber's return. "Caliber is yet another classic case of Undead Publishing Reanimation," explained Thaddeus T. Puffinbottoms, professor of Zombie Businesses and the Fall of Humanity at the presitgious Devry University. "While we've seen the occasional isolated case, Caliber's return certainly indicates that the bulk of humanity will be wiped out in the next six months. I personally recommend you hug your loved ones and then dose them with arsenic laced fruit drink before it's too late."
However, some are taking Caliber's return as a signal to bring about positive changes in humanity. In Kentucky, comics creator and Image co-owner Robert Kirkman closed off his sizable real estate holdings to the public and has reportedly donned an eyepatch as he reinsituted feudalism in the beleagured state. "Any serf who disagrees with me will get a kiss from Lucille," Kirkman said as he brandished a baseball bat covered in barbed wire while sitting on top of a tank. "Society has broken down, and only the strong will survive!"
Gary Reed believes that reaction to his announcement is overblown. "We just want to bring good comics to the masses," Reed said. "Now could you come a little closer? You have a large head that looks to hold a very delicious brain."
The Outhouse is sponsored by Cinema Crazed: Celebrating Film Culture & Pop Culture.
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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