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DC Puts Bomb Under Gaiman's Desk, Must Not Stop Writing Or BOOM!

Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, March 27 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

DC Puts Bomb Under Gaiman's Desk, Must Not Stop Writing Or BOOM!

Neil Gaiman only has 7 more hours to write everything that he needs to write, according to new report.

Source: Bleeding Cool

Sandman: Overture #3 is solicited for April 30th, according to Vertigo's website, leaving writer Neil Gaiman with less than 7 hours to complete the script in order for J.H. Williams to finish drawing it in time to print. But according to a report from Bleeding Cool, quoting a CNN interview, Gaiman has no plans to complete the issue before July:

CNN: And when can we expect more?

Gaiman: July will be issue 3 and then probably some more months then issue 4, issue 5 and issue 6. I’m already missing it. The magic of ‘Sandman’ is going back and finding the characters’ voices are still alive and still real.


Gaiman also went on to describe issue #3 as "the nearest Sandman has ever come to a spaghetti Western."

The news reportedly does not sit well with DC Comics, who are getting tired of Gaiman's lackadaisical attitude toward completing comics on any kind of a schedule. As a result, the publisher has taken a page from the Speed movie franchise and installed a bomb underneath Gaiman's desk, which is set to go off if the writer produces less than 30 words per minutes.

"I'm not sure how I feel about this," Gaiman told the Outhouse when asked about the bomb. "On the one hand, it's pretty stressful to write comics with the looming threat of fiery, explosive death. On the other hand, DC was nice enough to send Sandra Bullock over to my place and she's been able to cover for me so I can take bathroom breaks."

Gaiman did admit that, in all likelihood, he would probably be blown up in the next day or two, as writing for more than a two hour stretch is more than his delicate constitution can handle. However, Gaiman plans to go out doing what he loves: waxing poetic about his own work.

"Can I tell “Sandman” stories until I die? The characters are still in my head; they’re still there. But there’s so many more things I need to write before the long night comes, before I put the pen down for the last time. I really hope there’s more “Sandman” in there. It would be sad if there wasn’t. But there’s so much more left to write."


At press time, Gaiman's desk had entered Los Angeles International Airport, endangering thousands of people. Gaiman reportedly plans to take the writing to the runway, where he can hopefully buy time for SWAT teams to disarm the bomb so he can go back to procrastinating and splashing paint on the nude body of his girlfriend in a public performance art piece.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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