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To Celebrate Release of Movie, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Actors Evans and Stan Will Kick Off Daily Orgy of Capitalist Wealth Extraction

Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, March 27 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

To Celebrate Release of Movie, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Actors Evans and Stan Will Kick Off Daily Orgy of Capitalist Wealth Extraction

Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan will ring the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange on April 1st.


Source: CBR

With the American release of Captain America: The Winter Soldier set for Friday, April 4, stars Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan are set to kick off an orgy of free market capitalism by ringing the bell at the New York Stock Exchange on Tuesday, April 1. Celebrating the opening of Wall Street's premiere venue for selfish, irresponsible, predatory financial practices is something of a tradition for Marvel movie stars, as Robert Downey Jr. rang the bell last year to celebrate the release of Iron Man 3.

"Associating the release of our movie with the blatantly criminal activities of the world's leading financial institutions that are allowed to continue with no legal repercussions despite the near destruction of the world economy for the sole benefit of the 85 or so people whose wealth is greater than the world's poorest 3.5 billion combined is a no-brainer" said Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige. "I mean, sure, rampant Wall Street greed and the erosion of any accountability for the obscenely wealthy may be the number one driving force in the decline of American quality of life and the continued oppression of poor people around the globe, but hey, who doesn't like a ringing bell?"

"Ding ding ding!" said Feige, giggling like a child as he rang a miniature stock exchange bell on his desk. Feige went on to call anyone who criticized the move a pinko communist, settling the matter once and for all before diving into an olympic sized swimming pool filled with hundred dollar bills.




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About the Author - Jude Terror


Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.


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