Thursday, November 27, 2014 • Evening Edition • "Manufacturing outrage since 2006."

Fool Me Once...: DC Claims Morrison's Multiversity Will Be Released This Year

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, April 14 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

Fool Me Once...: DC Claims Morrison's Multiversity Will Be Released This Year

Citing "fool me twice, shame on me," readers are taking the announcement about the long-awaited series with a grain of salt.


Source: CBR

It was way back in 2009 when a young, fresh-faced wizard named Grant Morrison first announced Multiversity, a limited series set in DC's multiverse exploring teams and characters from seven different worlds that have all been destroyed by cataclysmic universe-rearranging continuity reboots at least twice since then. Every couple of months, Morrison materializes out of thin air in front of a crowd of eager reporters clamoring to know when he plans to release the series, only to be scared by his own shadow and return to the ether, signaling another six months of no Multiversity. However, Comic Book Resources, in a report that they let us know at least five times was EXCLUSIVE, has revealed that DC plans to actually publish the series in August of this year.

Following the report, the heavens opened up and Jesus Christ himself came down from the sky and gave CBR founder Jonah Weiland a godly blowjob out of admiration for how exclusive the report was. After that, Morrison issued the following statement via telepathic mind meld:

The Multiversity' has been a labor of love almost eight years in the making, and brings together an unstoppable supergroup of artists -- Reis, Sprouse, Oliver, Quitely, Stewart and more -- with a cast of unforgettable characters from the 52 alternative Earths of the known DC Multiverse!

Prepare to meet the Vampire Justice League of Earth-43, the Justice Riders of Earth-18, Superdemon, Doc Fate, the super-sons of Superman and Batman, the rampaging Retaliators of Earth-8, the Atomic Knights of Justice, Dino-Cop, Sister Miracle, Lady Quark, the legion of Sivanas, the Nazi New Reichsmen of Earth-10 and the LATEST, greatest superhero of Earth-Prime -- YOU!

Comprising seven complete adventures -- each set in a different parallel universe -- a two part framing story, and comprehensive guidebook to the many worlds of the Multiverse, 'The Multiversity' is more than just a multi-part comic book series, it's a cosmos-spanning, soul-shaking experience that puts YOU on the front line in the Battle For All Creation against the demonic destroyers known as the Gentry!

But beware! Power has a cost, and at the heart of this epic tale waits the cursed and malignant comic book called 'Ultra Comics'...

How safe is YOUR head?

Join us, if you dare, for 'The Multiversity!'

 

Each issue will be 40 pages and bring together the talents of more than five superstar artists, which worked so well for Image United.

At press time, Outhouse sources in at least seventeen alternate universes confirmed that Multiversity still hasn't been fucking published there either. We'll keep you updated the next time CBR decides to grace us lowly peasants with their magnanimous exclusivity again. Until then, here's their exclusive image, with a huge penis superimposed over their watermark in order to more accurately convey the message they are going for with that.

 






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About the Author - Jude Terror


Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably.  Ironically, our webmaster, whose website skills know no end, has very little understanding of social networks or how they work.  Regardless, you can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, but would probably have the most luck just emailing him.

 


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