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J.K. Rowling Hits Rock Bottom, Found Writing Ginny Weasley Fanfic on Website

Written by Jude Terror on Wednesday, April 16 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

J.K. Rowling Hits Rock Bottom, Found Writing Ginny Weasley Fanfic on Website

The years since she ended the Harry Potter series haven't been kind to J.K. Rowling, it seems.

Superstar British writer J.K. Rowling hung up here sorting hat and wizard robes in 2007 when she published Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the final novel in the seven part epic fantasy series about the boy wizard that inspired a generation of kids to keep reading books long after they'd gone out of fashion. In the years since, Rowling has tried her best to move on to writing more serious books, including The Casual Vacancy and a crime fiction novel called The Cuckoo's Calling. Here's a description of The Casual Vacancy from Wikipedia:

The novel is set in a suburban West Country town called Pagford and begins with the death of beloved Parish Councillor Barry Fairbrother. Subsequently, a seat on the council is vacant and a conflict ensues before the election for his successor... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ


So that obviously went over like a lead balloon. Rowling tried to stir up interest in The Cuckoo's Calling by publishing it under the pseudonym Roger Galbraith and then cleverly leaking that it was actually by J.K. Rowling, but still no one seemed to care, due to a profound lack of Harry Potter.

Well, it seems like Rowling has finally accepted the fact that all she is allowed to write for the rest of her life is wizard stuff, because she's now shown up at official Harry Potter fan site Pottermore writing live reports from the fictional Quidditch world cup as Ginny Potter, the ginger formerly known as Ginny Weasley before marrying Harry in a hastily conceived epilogue at the end of Deathly Hallows. Ginny is now a sports reporter for The Daily Prophet.

In order to read any of that, you'll need go through Pottermore's rigorous sign-up process, which involves filling out a form, accepting a completely anonymous username designed to protect children from predators and, presumably, rogue dementors, and then wait for a confirmation email. Afterward, if you are able to navigate the flash-heavy site, you can make your way to the Daily Prophet section where you'll find "Ginny's" reports from the site of the World Cup in the Patagonian desert.

The first report details a scuffle over the team mascots, beginning:

Not a single Quaffle thrown, not a single Snitch caught, but the 427th Quidditch World Cup is already mired in controversy. Magizoologists have congregated in the desert to contain the mayhem and Healers have attended more than 300 crowd members suffering from shock, broken bones and bites. The Argentinian Council of Magic is reeling from accusations that their decision to stage a mascot-themed opening ceremony was foolish and reckless.


If you want more of that - and don't deny that you do - head over to Pottermore and sign up. Rowling is sure to be doing a lot more of this now that she's accepted her fate of writing nothing but wizard books until the day she dies. We're happy she's learned her lesson, and look forward to reading about the adventures of a 50 year old Harry Potter with a beer gut and a gigantic bald spot where his unruly hair used to be.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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