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Outhouse Exclusive: Marvel To Celebrate 100 Years Of Wrigley Field

Outhouse Exclusive: Marvel To Celebrate 100 Years Of Wrigley Field

Now, if only the Cubs could reboot their continuity at the end of every season.



Source: A 100th Anniversary Special For The Fantastic Four By James Stokoe And Joanna Estep In July

For our readers who are stereotypical comic book fans, Wrigley Field is a baseball stadium in Chicago, IL, and is home to the baseball team, the Chicago Cubs. Baseball is the one with the stick (bat) and gloves. No, you’re thinking about hockey, baseball isn’t played on ice.
 
Baseball is also the thing you think about when you're trying not to blow your load early during sex. So as... oh, shit.
 
For our readers who are stereotypical comic book fans, sex is a thing that... oh, never minds. This could take all day!
 
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Early this morning BleedingCool did what BleedingCool does and broke one of Marvel’s C2E2 announcements for them, early, and without (possibly) Marvel’s blessings. The announcement?  That Marvel has tapped a major league team of creators to help celebrate the 100th anniversary of Wrigley Field (see above) this upcoming July.
 
Not much is known about the 100th anniversary celebration, but we here at The Outhouse, one of your top 10 destinations for all things sports, applaud the relationship as natural and we wonder what took these two giants of an aging fanbase so long to find one anoher. Think about it; both Marvel continuity and Wrigley Field are basically held together by duct tape with neither party willing to do what is necessary to fix their crumbling infrastructure while, at the same time, the sky (or concrete) is falling all around them. The average age for both comic book and Cubs fans is just short of retirement and neither can remember the last time they won a World Series.
 
There are some differences, such as Marvel was never cursed by a billy goat. Instead they are cursed with fanboys who hold on to the belief that it will get better, next year. 
 
Of the myriad of theories that abound how Marvel will help Chicago celebrate this most auspicious occasion the most likely is that Marvel has hired top talent (Andy Lanning Gustavo Duarte, Sean Ryan, In-Hyuk Lee, Jen Van, In-Hyuk Lee, James Stokoe. and Joanna Estep) to strengthen the base of Wrigley Field by retconning in some winning seasons and retconning out Steve Bartman* replacing him with the rotting corpse of Jean Grey who, because she’s dead not because she’s a girl, can’t catch a ball.
 
By the end of the summer, Wrigley Field will be rebooted as “The All New Wrigley Field NOW!” sporting a brand new slab of paint, cost 40% more to get in, and have 60% less content all while trying to convince its dwindling fan base that it shits out diamonds and that it really does make sense for each of them to buy the $50 variant Wrigley Field blueprint by Humberto Ramos.  Oh, and Brian Wood walking through the stands doing his best to hassle people into tasting his hot dog.
 
All that being said, at the end of the day there is only one important fact in all this: Go Reds
 
*Google him




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About the Author - GHERU


RU, or as he’s known in the writers’ room: the cute one, is relatively unappreciated in his time.  RU’s YouTube show, RUviews is watched by literally multiple people every month and his Outhouse articles have helped line many a bird cage.  Before you send RU a message, he knows that there are misspelled words in this article, and probably in this bio he was asked to write.  RU wants everyone to know that after 25+ years of collecting he still loves comic books and can’t believe how seriously fanboys take them.  RU lives in Akron Ohio (unfortunately) with WIFE, ‘lilRuRu, and the @DogGodThor.  You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, & even Google+ (if anyone still uses that).

 


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