At C2E2 today, Marvel revealed its newest set of Young Guns: 37 year old Mahmud Asrar (Wolverine and the X-Men), 31 year old Sara Pichelli (Guardians of the Galaxy), 32(?) year old Ryan Stegman (Wolverine, Inhuman), David Marquez (Miles Morales Ultimate Spider-Man), whose age we cannot determine but who finished graduate school over ten years ago, as well as Nick Bradshaw (Guardians of the Galaxy) and Valerio Schiti (New Avengers), who we suspect were born in Kenya and are secret Muslim communists, since we are unable to locate their birth records online. At a special Young Guns panel at the convention, the group of up and comers hobbled slowly to the stage with the assistance of canes of walkers where they proceeded to yell at the crowd for applauding too loudly and lectured them about how much harder things were when they were kids.
"We're really excited to have these young guns on board at Marvel," said most excited person about everything in the universe Axel Alonso, explaining that he hoped the young artists could bring a fresh new perspective to Marvel Comics by referencing things that happened when they grew up in the 1980s. "These new artists are totally radical, dudes," Alonso told a cheering audience.
All six of the Young Guns will get their own variant cover for July's Legendary Star Lord #1, as well as complimentary vouchers for a free meal at the Country Kitchen Buffet. At press time, Marquez was reportedly speaking at an inappropriately loud volume after forgetting to wear his hearing aid while Pichelli complained about how cold it was at the convention center before heading off to bed at 7PM.