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Marvel's Original Sin Crossover Impacted By Latest Round Of Perlmutter Belt Tightening

Written by Elf With a Gun on Thursday, May 01 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

Marvel's Original Sin Crossover Impacted By Latest Round Of Perlmutter Belt Tightening

Unable to access Google, writers and editorial staff resort to designing event to answer basic research questions.

Legendary financier and Marvel Entertainment CEO Isaac "Ike" Perlmutter is notorious for his frugality, including prohibiting employees from purchasing paperclips. But his latest money-saving edict has shocked even long-time industry watchers, as Perlmutter has reportedly cancelled service with the Marvel office's Internet Service Provider, thus making it impossible for editorial to access resources like the dominant search-engine Skynet Google. 

"It all started on Tom Breevort's Tumblr," one insider told us. "A fan asked him, 'Who is the Watcher?'. When Tom was unable to type it into Google and find out, he responded to the fan's question with 'Wait and see!' And then all hell broke loose in the Bullpen."

Sources tell us that editorial quickly devised a crossover event that would act as a workaround for Perlmutter's Draconian rules. And thus came this marketing teaser for ORIGINAL SIN, which asks the question on everyone's mind.



Who is the Watcher, indeed...

Here at The Outhousers, we are under no such restrictions, and thus, a quick check of Google confirms, via Marvel's own website, that the Watcher is a bald guy named Uatu know what? That Marvel encylopedia entry is more convoluted than Axel Alonso's attempts to feign excitement over each and every Marvel event. Instead, let's use Wikipedia, which tells us that the Watchers are committed to observing and compiling knowledge on all aspects of the universe.

So now you know.


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About the Author - Elf With a Gun

Elf With a Gun appeared in several Marvel comics of the 70s and 80s, most notably harassing The Defenders and Spider-Man, before being abducted by Steve Gerber for use as a foil against Destroyer Duck. After wandering the wastelands of Forgotten Comic Character Limbo, he hitched a ride on the ThanosCopter and now resides at the Outhouse, bringing his snark, elf hat, pointy shoes, and very big gun to a new generation of comic readers. His Give-A-Fuck quotient is stuck at zero. 

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