Thursday, January 24, 2019 • Midnight Edition • "30 charges and no convictions."

Condoleezza Rice Backs Out of Rutgers Speech in Response to Futures End #0 (SPOILERS)

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, May 05 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

Condoleezza Rice Backs Out of Rutgers Speech in Response to Futures End #0 (SPOILERS)

The former National Security Advisor and Secretary of State will not give the speech because DC's Free Comic Book Day offering was so crappy.

This weekend, Condoleezza Rice backed out of a planned commencement address at Rutgers in New Jersey after learning that many of the students at the university enjoyed Future's End #0, the Free Comic Book Day offering from DC Comics that serves as a lead-in to the company's ongoing super-mega-weekly-crossover event of the year. Rice had been considering dropping out of the speech, scheduled for later this month, after multiple student protests insisted that the first female African American Secretary of State should not be allowed to give the address because of her involvement in the Iraq War. However, it was the truly terrible nature of DC's comic book that pushed her to make the final decision, according to an article in the New York Times.

"Commencement should be a time of joyous celebration for the graduates and their families," said Rice in a statement that consisted of multiple spoilers for the comic. "But how can anyone enjoy themselves when DC is publishing a comic book that consists of page after page of senseless violence and mutilation of characters? And on Free Comic Book Day, when they're trying to attract new readers?!"

Rice's statement went on to take particular issue with a sequence in which, after several characters are violently mutilated and killed (or transformed into evil cyborgs or something) by an insectoid robot version of Wonder Woman, Frankenstein appears and reveals himself to have the disembodied face of Black Canary sewn into his torso. Later in the book, Batman has his arm ripped off, which Rice called "gratuitous" and "a ridiculous cliche."

"What the hell was that?" wondered a bewildered Rice in her lengthy statement. "Who wants to read that crap?" Rice recommended that people read Chris Sims' review of the book on Comics Alliance, saying that it perfectly summed up her feelings on the book and DC's recent output in general.

"I am honored to have served my country,” Rice said. “I have defended America’s belief in free speech and the exchange of ideas. These values are essential to the health of our democracy. But just because you can brutally murder your characters for pure shock value doesn't mean you should."

"Even if nobody cares about Captain Cold," she added.

This isn't the first time comic books have complicated Rice's public speaking career. When Rice gave the commencement address at Boston College in 2006, dozens of students and teachers stood with their backs turned while she spoke in response to comments Rice had made about the Marvel Comics blockbuster Civil War, and also because of that Iraq stuff.

"Come on," said Rice in a response May of 2006. "Reed Richards may be insensitive sometimes, but there's no way he would make a clone of Thor and send him against his fellow heroes. That's just plain stupid."

Rice will not collect the $35,000 fee for the Rutgers speech. The University plans to announce a new commencement speaker soon, denying rumors that it is unable to find anyone who actually likes the New 52.


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

More articles from Jude Terror
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!