Television viewers and industry analysts alike were shocked Thursday night when ABC announced that Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., which suffered from awful ratings all season long, will be renewed for a second season. According to sources inside the beleaguered network, the show was slotted to get the ax, but was saved at the last minute by a clerical error, locking in another twenty-four episodes with thirty-seven inexplicable three week breaks between them. ABC also picked up Agent Carter, the Captain America: The First Avenger spin-off starring Hayley Atwell set in 1946.
"We're terribly embarrassed about this," said an embarrassed ABC President Anne Sweeney. "We sent the paperwork down to accounting with CANCEL scrawled in big red letters all over it. I don't know how they could have screwed this up."
"It's a goddamn Joss Whedon show," Sweeney reportedly told our sources about S.H.I.E.L.D., which is executive produced by Whedon, though the showrunners are Joss Whedon's brother and Joss Whedon's brother's wife. "Who the fuck renews a Joss Whedon show?"
It's an unprecedented move, and one which has rocked the television world. But how did it happen? Who is responsible for this colossal screw-up?!
"They tell me, Vlad, fill out this paperwork for next TV season," explained ABC's lead scheduling intern Vlad Kozinkerov. "So that is what I do. I thought it was my choice, so I pick what I like. Back home, shows with exciting plot development and believable acting are considered too riqsque for prime time. Watching S.H.I.E.L.D. reminds me of bleak and stoic life in Russia."
No word on whether Kozinkerov will face punitive action from the network. Some of the other shows he chose for renewal were Once Upon a Time, Castle, and The Goldbergs, amongst others. Here's a description of Agent Carter, so you can start building your hopes only to have them crushed when the show kicks off with a twelve-episode holding pattern while waiting for a movie to hit theaters and advance its plot.
Marvel’s Agent Carter,” starring “Captain America’s” Hayley Atwell follows the story of Peggy Carter. It’s 1946, and peace has dealt Peggy Carter a serious blow as she finds herself marginalized when the men return home from fighting abroad. Working for the covert SSR (Strategic Scientific Reserve), Peggy must balance doing administrative work and going on secret missions for Howard Stark all while trying to navigate life as a single woman in America, in the wake of losing the love of her life – Steve Rogers. Inspired by the feature films “Captain America: The First Avenger” and “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” along with the short “Marvel One-Shot: Agent Carter.” “Marvel’s Agent Carter” stars Hayley Atwell as Agent Peggy Carter. Executive producers are Michele Fazekas & Tara Butters, Steve McFeely & Christopher Marcus, and Jeph Loeb.