In an unprecedented financial attack, Berkeley-based publisher Image Comics teased two new books this week, threatening to take an additional six dollars a month from the already difficult budget of Outhouse reporter Jude Terror starting in August, when the books will hit stores.
"This is outrageous," said Terror when learning of the new series. "Image knows that that they've generated such positive buzz from all the new books they've launched over the past year that most people will try a new Image series sight unseen. How am I supposed to afford this?"
Terror called the pending launch of the two new books "economic terrorism" and called on the United States government to level sanctions on the publisher before they wreak more havoc on the world economy by producing comics that people want to read. "I shouldn't even post these teaser images," Terror insisted. "I know I'm only hurting the American people by showing them these."
Unfortunately, his duty as a comic journalist forced his hand, and Terror pasted the images below, reasoning that "maybe it won't be so bad when we're all slaves in Image's ink and paper mines, located under the mountains of Kentucky, working sixteen hours a day while a shirtless, leather-clad Robert Kirkman brutally whips us to make sure we're not slacking off. I mean, if it results in another book as good as Sex Criminals, it'll be well worth it."
Terror warned that more teasers could be coming throughout the week and recommended that concerned readers start saving now in order to better absorb the costs of all the new books.
Here's the images: