Wednesday, December 17, 2014 • Evening Edition • "Magneto was right."

Marvel Announces "Weapon Etched Holofoil" Death of Wolverine, Because God Hates Mankind or Something

Written by ThanosCopter on Thursday, May 15 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

Marvel Announces

No, we're not making this up.


Source: Multiversity

Marvel has announced that the hotly anticipated (at least by the Outhouse newsroom) Death of Wolverine miniseries will have "weapon etched holofoil" covers.  What is a "weapon etched holofoil" cover?  The fuck if I know, but it makes me cry a little every time I type those words out.  The kicker is that the cover will also feature lens flare.  Yes, the actual cover has lens flare.

Here's the cover so you can properly curse at the terribleness of the industry:

I'm presuming that the cover is made of the same acetate cover material, and probably requires the blood of a freshly killed polar bear in order to produce.  Oh, and the comics will be wrapped, too, because God forbid someone actually try to pick this comic up and decide whether it's any good before purchasing it. 

Seriously, comics industry, it's this sort of shit that almost killed the industry twenty years ago.  I hate everything about this story. 





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About the Author - ThanosCopter


ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
 

 


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