Cartoonist John Kovalic (DORK TOWER) posted a pretty funny series of tweets after finding an inappropriate advertisement on the back of his five year old daughter's comic book:
Oh, dear. The advertisement on the back of Daughter, Age 5's otherwise delightful kids' comicbook. pic.twitter.com/n1q7hQ3jGo
— John Kovalic (@muskrat_john) May 17, 2014
This looks TOTALLY appropriate for the back of a kids' comicbook, Dynamite Comics. Look: it even features a baby! pic.twitter.com/lEuydPaZg3
— John Kovalic (@muskrat_john) May 17, 2014
I'm hardly a prude. But here's the otherwise wonderful comic that ad is on the back cover of: pic.twitter.com/kb9xAe8gaf
— John Kovalic (@muskrat_john) May 17, 2014
It seems Dynamite thought the All Ages readers of Art Baltazar & Franco & Smits' CAPTAIN ACTION CAT #1 might also want to check out THE BLOOD QUEEN, a new dark fantasy series about a fictionalized version of real life villain and subject of countless Death Metal songs, Countess Elizabeth Bathory. The writer for THE BLOOD QUEEN is Troy Brownfield, former Newsarama columnist who just came off a long stint writing for Zenescope's line of softcore porn comics starring fairy tale characters, GRIMM FAIRY TALES. Fritz Casas handles artwork, though one of Dynamite's usual stable of boobalicious cover artists probably did the main artwork for the ad.
Dynamite is one of Zenescope's biggest competitors in the comics to jerk off to market, and that's fine. We don't want you to be mad at us for attacking your wank material. It's just that maybe... maybe you shouldn't look for crossover synergy between that market and the 5 year old kids market. That's all.
I mean, what good can come of that? Are we hoping to get kids hooked on cheesecake early, ensuring future sales for LADY RAWHIDE? Or are we thinking, hey, there's a little something for the kids, and a little something for the adults? Get a boner to pass the time while you're reading comics with your kid? It just seems like no one thought this through.
And they probably didn't. Most likely, the same ads run on the back of all Dynamite's books on a given week and nobody even considered this, but hey, that's what we're here for. To point these things out. It's kind of like how my wife is always telling me advertising companies should hire her to tell them whether or not their logos are unintentionally shaped like penises. She has a knack for seeing it, and there's a market for that talent. In any case, we're just trying to be helpful to our friends at Dynamite here.
But Kovalic decided to take matters into his own hands:
Poor girl looked cold and out of touch. So I'm giving her a sensible cardigan and an iPhone... pic.twitter.com/0BhR180GBF
— John Kovalic (@muskrat_john) May 17, 2014
Ironically, Citadel paints appear to be the perfect means of correcting cheesecake BS on a kids' comic... pic.twitter.com/L35PXebJgy
— John Kovalic (@muskrat_john) May 17, 2014
I could write "This Machine Kills Misogynists" on her sweater. But since it's my daughter's comic, I'll stick with "Action Cat Fan Club."
— John Kovalic (@muskrat_john) May 17, 2014
Also, I'd have to look up the spelling of "Misogynists"...
— John Kovalic (@muskrat_john) May 17, 2014
THERE! Better. Appropriate for young kids now, @DynamiteComics pic.twitter.com/wRSUF4GrQ7
— John Kovalic (@muskrat_john) May 17, 2014
John Kovalic won the internet today. And he even gave us a victory lap:
Now she's the Blood Queen...OF FEELS!
— John Kovalic (@muskrat_john) May 17, 2014
Possibly the Blood Queen craves blood because her left boob is one or two sizes smaller than her right one. Possibly. pic.twitter.com/6YUfKq64fP
— John Kovalic (@muskrat_john) May 17, 2014
BUT NOT ANYMORE! pic.twitter.com/5Awmh9YQQF
— John Kovalic (@muskrat_john) May 17, 2014
Epic win. Go and follow John Kovalic on Twitter, and read DORK TOWER here.
