According to a report on Heat Vision, Paramount will release Turtle Power: The Definitive History of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on August 12 to tie-in with the release of Michael Bay's abominable TMNT film, which hits theaters four days later. The documentary, a brainchild of fans Isaac Elliott-Fisher, Mark Hussey, and Randall Lobb, features interviews with Turtles creators Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman, as well as original movie director Steve Barron and original movie costume designer Brian Henson, amongst others. Available on digital HD and DVD, the documentary aims to celebrate thirty years of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in preparation for the utter destruction of the franchise at the hands of Bay.
At a press conference announcing the release of the movie, a crowd of Turtle fans and reporters gathered to celebrate their love of all things green in the face of Bay's impending nightmare. However, the conference was interrupted when Bay himself appeared in a cloud of foul black smoke and began shooting lightning bolts from his fingers at the attendees, sending the crowd fleeing in terror.
"I come to bury the Turtles, not to praise them," said Bay before revealing that the turtles would be changed to middle aged Martians with MMA skills in his upcoming movie. Bay then grabbed a nearby fan and sucked out his childhood, in the form of a visible, ghostly mist, directly out through the fan's mouth. He cackled madly before flying away, leaving the fan a miserable, shivering wreck.
"Ahahahahaha!" laughed Bay, flapping his gigantic bat-wings in the distance.
Here's the trailer for the documentary:
Michael Bay's TMNT will destroy everything you know and love about the Turtles on August 16.