Written by Jude Terror
on Saturday, June 14 2014 and posted in News with Benefits
And because you know this, according to DC movie mogul David Goyer, you've never been laid.
Sorry to ruin your weekend folks, but we've just learned that DC is looking to cast Martian Manhunter in their upcoming Justice League movie (which will take place after Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice). Ain't It Cool News used their time machine to travel to the future from 1994 where their website is located and look at the casting calls from the film, and according to those, the Martian Manhunter is an (as yet uncast) role. Now, this isn't an official announcement and we can't personally verify AICN's source, due to us not having a Compuserve account, so we'll have to put this in the rumor column for now. But still, things are looking good for fans of J'onn J'onzz, right?
Unfortunately, according to David Goyer, the man behind all DC's movie plans, anyone who knows who J'onn J'onzz is must be a virgin. Let's take a trip back in the WABAC Machine ourselves to a time when AICN was the premiere website in the world and Kurt Cobain was still alive and... er, actually, it was just last month, during Goyer's appearance on the ScriptNotes podcast:
Moving on from green female characters they'd like to fuck to male green characters, Mazin and Goyer started discussing Martian Manhunter. When asked how he would adapt Jonn Jonn'z for the big screen, Goyer responded "How many people in the audience have heard of Martian Manhunter?” When the audience responded with cheers and raised their hands, he then asked "How many people that raised their hands have ever been laid?”
So on the one hand, you can look forward to a fan-favorite character gracing the big screen. On the other, you've never had sex and we may have to sacrifice you to a volcano. Some days, you gotta take the good with the bad.
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.
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