Monday, December 22, 2014 • Midnight Edition • "For when life fails you."

Outhouse Denies Rumors It Plans to Plunder CBR's Yacht at San Diego Comic Con

Written by Jude Terror on Tuesday, July 08 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

Outhouse Denies Rumors It Plans to Plunder CBR's Yacht at San Diego Comic Con

Under no circumstances will representatives of the satirical comic book website board CBR's boat dressed as pirates and force their reporters to walk the plank.



In the wake of an announcement from popular big two publisher shill site Comic Book Resources that it will be conducting San Diego Comic Con interviews from aboard its 52 foot yacht again this year, satirical comic book website The Outhouse denied any and all claims that it plans to hijack the yacht during the biggest comic book convention of the year. Dressed in a red and white doublet and sporting a peg leg and eye patch, Ace Reporter Jude Terror told reporters that he was definitely not leading a crew of salty buccaneers that will sail up to CBR's yacht in the San Diego Marina, swing on board via ropes, and terrorize the denizens of the yacht while plundering its riches.

"I don't know where you heard that, matey, but it's not true," growled Terror as he pulled a dagger from his pocket and flung it at a picture of CBR Managing Editor Albert Ching that was taped to a nearby wall. "Tell me who told you these lies, ye scurvey bilge rat, and I'll send 'em to Davey Jones' locker!"

"Aaarrrrgggh," Terror added, punctuating his remarks in a totally not piratey way.

In addition to not seizing control of CBR's yacht and holding CBR Executive Producer and Stone Temple Pilots vocalist Jonah Weiland for ransom while forcing all other members of the ship's crew to walk the plank, The Outhouse will also send reporters Jeremy Shane and Angela Jones to the convention, where they will walk the convention floor like regular people and not fancy-pants, yacht-owning 1%ers while interviewing talent from companies which have not yet blacklisted us, so Dark Horse.

Jude Terror preparing for 2014 San Diego Comic Con coverage

"Those are our only plans," Terror insisted, though there were clearly several several recruits visible through the window of his office practicing sword fighting and cannon firing underneath a skull and crossbones flag.

"Those are his only plans, sqwaaawwwk," repeated a parrot perched on Terror's shoulder.

Remember to tune in to The Outhouse for better versions of the stories you'll read on CBR the weekend of July 24-27.

Dramatization of last year's San Diego Comic Con meeting between Jude Terror and Jonah Weiland






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About the Author - Jude Terror


Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably.  Ironically, our webmaster, whose website skills know no end, has very little understanding of social networks or how they work.  Regardless, you can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, but would probably have the most luck just emailing him.

 


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The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!