Archie Comics announced plans yesterday to relaunch their Red Circle superhero comics line under the new name Dark Circle, with an emphasis on creator-driven comics. The line was recently relaunched in 2012 as an all-digital offering, which followed a relaunch in 2007 where the characters were integrated into the DC Universe. In fact, Red Circle has seemingly been in a continuous state of relaunch since the 1940s, being known as Mighty Comics, Spectrum Comics, and Archie Adventure Series at various points.
"There's an audience for creator-driven superhero stories that don't require you to read 10 other titles or a decade's worth of continuity just to get a sense of what's going on," said Archie editor and former arch nemesis of The Outhouse, Alex Segura, in an interview with USA Today. "We've got the creator-driven part taken care of now, and we're going to keep on relaunching until we find that audience."
"Oh, did you feel that?" Segura asked, flustered. "I think... yeah, we just relaunched again. Oh, there's another one!"
Segura assured USA Today that the comics would not be "for kids" and would be "on par, content-wise, with anything Image, DC or Marvel are putting out — hopefully better. Or, at least was the original plan, but while I've been speaking we actually relaunched Dark Circle twenty-seven times. Now it's called Purple Hexagon Illustrated Stories, and the comics will actually be kitchen appliance repair manuals. No wait, scrap that, rebooting again. Aaahhhh!"
Impressed with Archie's ability to reboot an entire comic line so quickly and frequently, we spoke to an industry expert for further analysis. "While rare, it is possible for some comic book lines to experience multiple relaunches," explained Professor of Comic Book Imprint Sexology at the prestigious University of Phoenix, Thaddeus T. Puffinbottoms. "It helps if you stimulate the publisher's clitoris while simultaneously thrusting at an upward angle, aiming for the spongy spot about two to three inches inside the vagina, on the front wall."
Puffinbottoms advised keeping a steady rythym and rubbing the publisher's clitoris in a circular motion, demonstrating with his thumb while pumping his hips next to a tablet displaying a digital issue of The New Crusaders. "See?!" Puffinbottoms exclaimed while giving us a thumbs up. The comic did seem to be enjoying itself, but it's possible it was faking it.
It is unknown whether Mark Waid and Dean Haspiel's The Fox will continue into the next incarnation of Red Circle, or Dark Circle, or whatever it's called, but more may be announced at comic con. Stay tuned to The Outhouse, where we'll keep you appraised of any future developments, including The Outhouse's inevitable blacklisting from Archie press contact.