Activision's popular Call of Doody video games have reaped an estimated eighty-two bazillion dollars for the company by pitting military covert ops teams against each other in tactical battles for the ultimate prize of being defeated and called insulting racial or homophobic slurs by prepubescent boys over X-Box Live. As part of its latest edition, Call of Doody: Black Ops II: Black Opsier, former Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega, makes an appearance in the game. Noreiga, who has spent the last twenty-something years in jail in various countries for his crimes as a maniacal dictator in the 1980s, was once a close ally of the United States government before becoming an enemy of the United States government whose country needed to be invaded in order to overthrow him, a problem that seems to recur frequently for us through no fault of our own. In any case, the 80-year-old despot really thinks they should have asked his permission first before using his name and likeness. His response, according to the LA Times:
In a lawsuit filed Tuesday in Los Angeles County Superior Court, Noriega alleges that “Call of Duty: Black Ops II” portrays him as “a kidnapper, murderer and enemy of the state.” This was done “to heighten realism in its game,” which “translates directly into heightened sales” for Activision, the lawsuit states.
Noriega, 80, is seeking lost profits as well as damages.
This situation could open the door for lots of current and future dictators to sue American video companies. We're not sure if Hitler has any living relatives, but the makers of Wolfenstein 3D find themselves in big trouble if so. The Outhouse attempted to reach out to Manuel Noriega at his prison estate in Panama, but, due to an error with the international phone system, we ended up connected with Puerto Rican American rapper Noriega instead.
"I light a candle," Noriega told us in a statement that we're pretty sure had nothing at all to do with the situation at hand. "I run laps around the English Channel."
"Neptunes, I got a cocker spaniel," he added, unhelpfully.
We'll keep you updated on the status of the lawsuit, as well as any future developments in Noriega's dog ownership situation. Stay tuned.