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Rich Johnston Suffers Freak Horn-Tooting Accident

Written by ThanosCopter on Thursday, July 17 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

Rich Johnston Suffers Freak Horn-Tooting Accident

The famed British muckraker is still determined to tell everyone that he reported upcoming SDCC announcements first.

Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Beloved comics "not a journalist" Rich Johnston suffered a freak injury last night while tooting his own horn about the announcement of the new Captain America.  The injury occurred at approximately midnight EST when Rich gathered the rest of the Bleeding Cool band to play their hit single "Respectfully, We Informed You at a Previous Juncture".  As Johnston launched into the song's signature overly long and unnecessary trumpet solo, his tongue became stuck in the trumpet's mouthpiece and would not be removed. 

Bleeding Cool's medical team was called in to extract Johnston's tongue from the instrument, and they were eventually forced to use a miniaturized version of the Jaws of Life.  Unfortunately, much like the rest of Bleeding Cool's staff, the paramedics were rather clumsy, resulting in Johnston losing a portion of his tongue.  

"It was awful," said one bystander who was at the scene.  "Blood was spurting out everywhere, and then someone shouted 'Looks like we have a Little Bleeder', and everyone laughed." 

Our sources indicate that it may take several weeks for Johnston to recover, and that Johnston may have to wrap his tongue in thick gauze during SDCC, which could prevent Johnston from properly pointing out how he had reported various announcements weeks beforehand.  However, Rich remains optimistic that he'll be able to work around his injury as has reportedly been coaching other staff members on how to properly play his horn for him if necessary.  

When asked about the injury, Rich refused to comment, but that could be because he simply can't. 

Please join the Outhouse in wishing Rich a safe and speedy recovery.  


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About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


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