It's a day ending in Y, which means the internet has some juicy Star Wars Episode 7 gossip for you this morning. Let's start with the real stuff. As part of a UNICEF fundraiser, JJ Abrams posted a video that shows off the X-Wing fighter that will be used in the movie. It's noticeably lacking in lens flare, but we assure you, this is a real video made by Abrams:
Now that we've got that boring confirmed stuff out of the way, it's time to SPECULATE! Badass Digest claims to have gotten their hands on a plot synopsis for the film, and since those plot leaks for Superman v Batman: Dawn of Justice turned out to be so reliable, we figured you'd want to know about this one too. According to their report, Episode 7 starts out with Luke Skywalker's severed hand, clutching a light saber, falling from space to a "desert planet" where it's found by Daisy Ridley and John Boyega's characters. The pair take off into space to return the hand to the Galactic Alliance's official Department of Severed Jedi Hands and Interplanetary Agriculture, only to run into a geriatric Han Solo and Chewbacca, who are no longer piloting the Millennium Falcon, and have apparently escaped from the nursing home. They haven't seen Luke since the events of Return of the Jedi (a dig at the prequels?), and the foursome go on a quest to find him, making this film already a better Fantastic Four movie than the actual Fantastic Four movie. Also:
Meanwhile, on an ice planet, nefarious forces are building a super weapon, one capable of destroying not planets but entire solar systems...
The plot would obviously mirror A New Hope in many ways. Of course, this could all be complete bullshit. Certainly, we know that it was a malfunctioning door on the Millennium Falcon set that broke Harrison Ford's leg and caused production to be delayed, but they could steal that later in the film from a geriatric Billy Dee Williams or something. In any case, it should be taken with a grain of salt. I know, you instinctively want to trust a site that calls itself Badass Digest, but you have to be careful. Star Wars Episode 7 will be in theaters next summer, unless the set goes rogue again and decapitates Mark Hamill, in which case there could be another two week delay.